Reality

Ever got a culture shock at ur own home? Going through it right now:)

Things have changed drastically since my friends (classmates) left for studies. All of a sudden, everyone around me does not have English as their first language. And being a Chinese who dont know his "mother tongue", its cost me..

For years i grew up with the same group of people. We rubbed shoulders, fought, called each other names, got into trouble at school together. The most important thing was, we communicated in the same language, or more rightly speaking the same "frequency". We could poke fun at each other, made funny sarcastic remarks out of each others words but yet keep a close bond. Those were the days. And i thank God for them.

Today, i am in a new community altogether. My world opened up and it hit me left right and center. Up and down too.. kinna like me in a washing machine. Schoolmates dont speak English as their first language and are from a different background as me. I am the alien. The chinese who doesnt know his "mother tongue". Yes, i do admit that its a shame on me. One down.. and it would be a lie if i say i dont feel ashamed of myself. And so, i started on a conquest to pick up time that was lost all these years in my ignorance to learning.. BUT

I thank God, mummy and daddy for sending me to Kebangsaan school since primary and on to secondary.Sometimes i wish that it would be better if perhaps i went to a SJKC in primary and SMK in secondary..that wish, i burnt straight to the ground. In wanting to learn mandrin, i make myself mingle more with "chinese educated" schoolmates. And it really makes me miss those days. Many chinese educated schoolmates are a wreck in manners, compassion, politeness, sport and the list goes on. Many, not all.. Before you get worked up and pissed at me, read some of my experiences and reconsider..

In my wanting to learn mandrin and accepting my handicap-ness, i deliberately came out of my shell and "socialize". I were with some schoolmates and they hurled insults at my face in mandrin. They thought it was a great laugh thinking i couldnt understand, and they had the cheek to ask me in mandrin whether i understood. I told them i did. They laughed all the more. And, they continued.... Gosh. They insult others in their face! I do make a joke of a person..but i use what that person says. These people, use ur physical appearance to make a joke, OUT OF U! i talked to some people and got to noe that its like that among the chinese educated.."if i am your friend, i will insult u in ur face than behind ur back. in that way, we are TRUE friends" that is being an imbecile.. whether anot the talk is in the face or behind the back does not matter.The issue here is, why must u insult your friend?

A few schoolmates are excited by d fact that i have a chinese name.. and so, they call me by that. Fine with me. To those who sincerely call as an intention to call me, i thank you. But one group of "friends" thought it was funny to make fun of my name. They called me by my chinese name. I dint wanna react cause they were calling it in an insulting way. They kept calling. I thought to myself. dont b such an ass..just give face and turn to them.. When i turned to them, all of them laughed and at the same time made fun of my name. I just smiled. They did it the second time. I blew my top.

Another happening. One friend was setting a "test" for her 4 year old cousin. She drew picts of some animals and wrote chinese words for her cous to match. She looked at me and say, i bet u cant do this right? my 4 year old cousin also can.. i just smiled and walked away. at that moment, my mind was exploding with harsh remarks i wanted to shoot at her. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen -Ephesians 4:29- was what i kept telling myself.

This is just a fragment of my experiences. Personally that is.. Things that happen in class is terrible as well. The way these people treats teachers.. make me wonder if they have emotions. They belittle teacher and make teacher look like a fool. Anyway, i may have my prejudice.. But there are very nice people i noe who are from the same background. And they are really nice people. Still on my mission to pick up mandrin and adapt to my surroundings.