View from above

Reformation

2011-07-07T22:33:00.002+08:00

Emilio Aguinaldo; Philippines reformist. Dr.Sun Yat Sen; Chinese reformist. Aung San Suu Kyi; Myanmar reformist (though not totally successful yet). History is built on these people who go all the way, depriving themselves of what the world can give them. These are figures who made it into our history books because they stood their grounds and fought for a better world (in their local context). But it is sad that these group of selfless people make the minority.

Malaysia is in the Bersih fever. For the first time since i can remember, our politics have taken a hold. For once there is something that is more "happening" then politics in our nation. It all unfold by the idea of having a peaceful rally for a fair election. Our good old leadership has reacted very foolishly (in my opinion) and has organized a nation wide clampdown on this. The word Bersih is now taboo, the colour yellow; ban, the gathering; illegal. Our streets and highways are crawling with police officers acting like gangsters, inciting the public with fear when they are suppose to be making us feel safe. As the saying goes, "harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi". Our beloved has also taken the initiative to send circulars to schools threatening (in my opinion) students to not take part or have any association with Bersih. Bringing politics right on our young minds plate. Sounds like a desperate move.

The interesting thing that has caught my attention in this whole affair is this. Many people around me is aware of this, supports the idea of Bersih but refuses to do anything. I told my friend, "lets go gallivanting in town this sat wearing a yellow shirt". He called me crazy. Many will prefer not to rock the boat. As long as life is fine and dandy in their little worlds, its ok. As long as there is food on d table, some savings in d bank, its ok. It doesnt matter where our tax money goes, it doesnt matter if natives are having their lands "stolen", it doesnt matter if politicians are corrupted, it doesnt matter if newly built stadiums crumble. It doesnt matter. That is why, reformist are the minority. Many are too comfortable and are afraid that the little they hold on to will be gone.

Advertisements promoting Malaysia always stress that we are nice friendly people. Sometimes, i think we are too nice. Too nice to voice out injustice, too nice to defend d victimized if it causes turmoil, too nice to report cases of outright corruption. Come to think of it, i think many of us are just cowards. Not daring to make a stand on principals. If we see a person jump queue, we would rather just keep quiet in the name of "peace". a feeling of i wont want to be part of a commotion.
And in the case of Bersih, many will just avoid and keep quiet in d name of "peace" while we are being trampled on, inspected like criminals and brain washed by buyers propaganda.

Sometimes we need to rock the boat, crush the boat and with that build a new one. My writing here is not one to side the government or the opposition. Its a cry for a better leadership. Its a cry for Malaysians to step up and speak out for a better Malaysia. Connecting Bersih being funded by a Christian group and the revival of communist reformation. You think for yourself whether this is inciting racial tension. Getting the silat club in Malaysia to "eliminate the Bersih threat"? Having Ibrahim Ali to call himself a war general and to ask Chinese to stock up food? My heart is in distress. One i cant express in words.

We need to wake up, stand out and speak out.

Happy Teacher's Day!!!

2011-05-16T20:42:00.002+08:00

First of all, Happy Teacher's day to all teachers who have taught me whether formally or informally :) May god bless u all abundantly as u have blessed me..

Thought i would write something about teachers as its their day..

I had an interesting conversation with one teacher the other day. He says that teachers are now watch dogs and not bloodhounds. That got me thinking. How then are teachers to educate, instill discipline, mold a person, etc when they are "toothless-tigers".. For one like myself, u can roar all u want till ur throat bleeds and i still wouldn't care what u r roaring about.

I personally feel that teachers are in a position to impact and change lives. The power to create a new generation-mindset is in their hands. But its sad that many dont really noe how to utilize this gift. Many teachers today wants to show who is boss and that they are in authority. Students dont need another authority. We need mentors, "grown-up-friends", a role model. And that is what i believe teachers should be in today's society.

Its no more spare the road spoil the child as the rod is a no no today. Teacher hitting a student is apparently abuse. Gone were the days of our parents where "get canned in school, go back tell parents, get canned again". Teachers are not even allowed to stare at students according to the secular on teacher's ethics. As our society gets more sophisticated, educated, demanding and outspoken, i think its time for teachers to change tactics.

Teachers have to wage a psychological warfare. Its about being a role model and getting respect. Yes, its bad that people today base respect on what u can do and not who u r. One can b d PM and yet get no respect if he has bad governing skills. Thats the same in school. Many students dont respect teachers because they are teachers anymore. And that is why the "listen to me because i'm in authority" doesn't work. Teachers need to prove to their students that they are of substance and quality.

Teachers need to come into class not with reference books anymore but with only maker pens plus the lesson in their mind. This will show students that hey, i really know my stuff and u better listen to me. Its not uncommon i hear teacher teach any say i dont need to memorize all this as i am not the one who is sitting for the exam. This should not happen. Teacher who know their stuff will gain respect from students. Perhaps teachers should take teaching into a new dimension. A play for an example, life lessons out of social studies, perhaps an "out-of-the-syllabus" project in physics class. If an advertisement has an average of 16 scene changes in one promo, and games with HD graphics and thousand moving characters, i dont think students can stay awake listening to teacher talk for 2 hours. Here in comes the "its-history-nap-time".

I also believe that teachers cant take teaching as just an occupation anymore. Teaching today has to be a culture or habit. Teaching does not end right when the school bell rings. Even after school students who meet their teachers will still address them as teachers. Why? Because for students, these elite group of individuals are not only their teachers in school. Teaching has to take counseling and mentoring into account. SMM (sistem maklumat murid) has only our exterior details. Teachers need to know what is going on behind the mask we put on everyday. In that way, teaching can be more personal and life changing. Though teaching in class, teacher would know how to address their students on a personal basis if they really know them. Perhaps just coming to the canteen and watch students, or just waiting outside the staffroom to see how their students come to school, how students interact with their parents. These initiatives and "short scenes" will tell a teacher alot more of their students.

And, teacher need to carry themselves like a role model. How are students to respect teachers when they come in with sports attire though its not PJ period. How about the half not tucked in shirt, the no socks feet, the stench of cigarette and the walking style of a person on holiday. And these same teachers are the ones who are suppose to teach us to carry ourselves and tell us what discipline is?? dont think that will work out well..

Anyway, i realise that perhaps i'm talking on the ideal extreme. Any teacher will be able to complain to me about the excessive red tape routine, the unnecessary load of paper work, the non-teaching responsibilities like doing exam results analysis, printing certs, etc. WHILE the poeple in the office sit and enjoy air cond while chit chatting everyday.

For teachers to play their role well, society needs a changed mindset as well. NOT ALL STRAIGHT A's STUDENTS ARE DOCTORS!!!! and teachers are not a straight A's scorer churning machine!! I believe teaching is not about the A's. Teaching is about shaping a person and molding character. If the character is of an A grade, the academic results will fall into place along side with it. Whats the point of getting "smart students" with a crap ass attitude? a nuisance to society with their arrogance, boastfulness and over confidence. And please dont leave maktab perguruan as a "last resort" choice. Save this righteous profession for the sake of our generation, future generations and the live of our country..

Thank u again to all teachers who have impacted my life. Not only teaching my whats in the syllabus, but what is also needed for me to survive. Thank you for inspiring me to be better, for giving me chance after chance to change and for taking in all my crap. God bless all of u :)

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!!!

over tuition seats?!?!

2011-04-29T12:36:00.004+08:00

its sometimes very mind boggling how some simple stupid things can bring friendships to ruins..

This is my story..

I've got a tuition in the morning. Went for tuition.. lo and behold, there were a few individuals booking enough places for all their extended family plus their deceased great grand parents to sit! ok. i may be over exaggerating. But u get my point. They booked places for their friends who were YET to come. i asked one of them whether there were anyone sitting as i wanted to sit there. this particular individual (A) said it was for a friend. I told A, u might as well come to class the night before and book the whole class. and i left to find another place to sit.

After that incident, A posted something on her fb about me..
你。。。你。。。你。。。。别以为我好欺负！！！！有时我不说并不代表我好欺负。。。臭男人！！“犯人”。。。死香蕉人！！！别以为你能把英文说得很好就自认清高！！！你还不是一个不会讲华文的香蕉人！！！明明别位还有很多座位你为什么就是要跟我争。。。你有不是没位子坐。。。我只是留一个位给我朋友又没害你没位坐！！！说什么你昨天晚上就来定位。。。需要那么讽刺吗？？？大家都是朋友。。。他就不明白今日留一线，明日好想见吗？？你一前对我的不公平我都忍了因为我不想帮东西弄僵。。既然你不义那别怪我以后的不仁！！！犯贱的人。。。

translated in google minus the proper in-context meaning..
You. . . You. . . You. . . . Do not think I bullied! ! ! ! Sometimes I do not say it does not mean I bullied. . . Smelly man! ! ! "Prisoners." . . Dead banana man! ! ! Do not think you can speak English very well to consider themselves aloof! ! ! You are not a banana person does not speak Chinese! ! ! Obviously there are many other spaces that seat Why do you fight with me. . . You are not without a seat. . . I just leave a bit to my friend was not any harm you do not have a seat! ! ! What you said last night to locate. . . Need so ironic? ? ? We are all friends. . . He do not understand today save one, good to see you tomorrow? ? You a unfair to me before I put up something because I do not want to help harden. . Meaning that since you do not blame me after the heartless! ! ! Fanjian people. . .

Till this very moment, i still do not think i deserve the "slashing" that A just gave me. Ya, i was extremely pissed at when i stumbled upon it. The evil thoughts that went through my mind was so intense. The things i would like and can do to A. Bring A's schooling life to ruins. I shoved all those thoughts away and said its ok. I did leave a comment on A's status. a few days later, A deleted me from A's fb contact.

Well, i believe i am not the only one who have been a "victim" of "place booking" in tuition classes. To all ye who stumbled upon this post and is still in the "tuition age", i plea to u, dont be so selfish. Others payed their tuition fees as well. Do u really need to sit with ur "friends/clique" all the time?? if u wil die without them by ur side, then go to tuition early together and sit there. Dont ask one person to hold on to 10 places for u.. You are just being an immature imbecile. If u so want to sit with ur friends, ask the teacher to give u ppl a private lesson. If u got not enough money to pay for it, then just bloody learn like any other ppl in tuition class. For goodness sake, must ppl be so selfish?! common courtesy just went FLUSH out of the discussion. one fine day someone like me may just get too fed up and the next social issue in Malaysia will be "Of the Tuition Culture". cos i may just go about smashing heads like they were play dough!

Al-Kitab issue?

2011-04-12T23:29:00.004+08:00

Big hoohah lately about the bibles that are printed in Bahasa Malaysia.. decided to write a little bout it after i read what a Perkasa rep said..

Apparently, printing bibles in BM is making an "unreasonable demand".. he said "they are not the majority of the country"...."we have not brought up the issues of our rights"

hmmmm.... sounds like a shallow man in a heat of anger.. no maturity to voice out dissatisfaction..i really do not understand what the issue here is.. if the Al-Quran can be printed in so many different languages including English, why cant the bible? and, why dont the non-Arab-translation Al-Quran need to b stamped for Muslims only?

Putting myself in some of their shoes, mayb its cos "they" are afraid that Muslims in Malaysia will start believing in Jesus.. or mayb, "they" are not confident that Muslims in Malaysia are really grounded in their faith (now whose blame is that to be).. or mayb on the other extreme, Muslims who touch the bible will go to hell.. i doubt that one though..

I have a translated Al-Quran in my room.. does that makes me a less devoted Christian? NO! i also have it as an app in my ipod! but i still believe in Jesus wholeheartedly.. My question is this.. how can one be more sure of their faith when they are not given the chance to read up on other people's religion? My history teacher for example, she teaches us about Islam civilization and sometimes bring the bible into comparisons.. Though i do not agree with her view, i still respect her for not having that "myopic" thinking many do..

To hit on some petty issues, bibles in BM.. Isn't it in tangent with our government's move to apply Bahasa Malaysia as the bahasa kebangsaan? They should be, "Bagus! Bacalah buku agama anda dalam bahasa kebangsaan". The streamers are still up in my school -Bulan Bahasa Kebangsaan- 1 Bahasa 1 Bangsa 1 Negara.. Apparently it's a NO NO in some cases. a conspiracy campaign we are spreading in school! wasted the "perhimpunan khas" the school had to hold..

Some ringing thoughts in my head about Datuk Ibrahim Ali's words.."they are not the majority of the country" and "we have not brought up the issues of our rights".. I'm hurt.. firstly, whether or not i'm a "majority" in the country, I STILL BELONG TO MALAYSIA! i am as Malaysian as any other Malaysian here! and i love MY COUNTRY as much as any other citizens do, or mayb more. To know this for a fact, u just have to noe me in person. Is it so hard to comprehend that i as Malaysian though a Chinese have every intention to make Malaysia a better place and to contribute in the growth of Malaysia?? Common.. i deserve some benefit of doubt here.. and about "NOT" bringing up "OUR RIGHTS", i out rightly say its a lie! dont believe me? go buy any BM newspaper tomorrow.. bet u ur inheritance u will find at least 1 article that talks about "Malay Supremacy".. (i always say that i dont gamble/bet, but this is no gamble.. i'm sure i'm right, and so its actually earning money :) )

was reading on Perjanjian Hudaibiah in my reference book.. in that Perjanjian, there was an issue on fairness towards the Quraisy tribe and the Muslims.. and it states in the reference book, "para sahabat nabi tdk bersetuju dgn isi perjanjian ini. Mereka menganggap bahawa Rasululah SAW terlalu lembut dan bertolak ansur sehingga merugikan org Islam. Sebenarnya tindakan Rasulullah SAW ini ternyata mempunyai pandangan jauh. Perjanjian ini bererti org Musyrikin Makkah secara tdk langsung mengiktiraf kerajaan Islam Madinah. Hal ini demikian kerana inilah kali pertama pembesar-pembesar Makkah sanggup mengadakan rundingan".. Well, just wanna tell u guys out there.. The same applies to Christianity in Malaysia. It may seem unfair to the Christians in area of evangelism and "freedom of worship". but in the same case as Prophet Muhammad, they "secara tidak langsung mengiktiraf KERAJAAN YESUS!" hahahahaha.. oooops.. did i just turn one of the biased history move in our syllabus to back fire? ouch..

to all my friends out there who are open minded, u have my "angkat topi".. read up other ppl's believes if u really BELIEVE in ur holy book. compare them and make ur faith stronger if it works for u. Dont just shut everything out. In that way, u dont earn the right to say that u believe ur religion is the right one..

singing out

Death. . . .

2011-04-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

was on my way back from school when i saw a road accident nearby my house.. in the wave of the many people there, i saw a man's body lying lifeless on the road, covered with a big piece of paper. Police officers were taking photos, reporters were doing their thing, on-lookers being their busy body self and the MCA crisis relieve team redirecting traffic. I think this is the first time i see a dead body this close.

It occurred to me how fragile life is. How one mistake (the driver) can end a life, and how one incident (the motorist) can bring an end to a persons diary. Was that man lying on the road ready to die? Did he have the slightest idea before the hit the road that perhaps "I'm going to die today". What was he doing that morning? What was his plans for that day? How did he live his life all this while? It doesnt really matter now does it. Death caught him by surprise.

My next train of thought was where is his spirit now? The conventional heaven hell dilemma? or the "spirit hanging around" superstition? If he was facing judgment with scenes of his whole life flashing by, would he be begging and mourning in anguish before the Almighty?

There was a strange coldness in me that day. It was not because i saw a dead body, but its the thought about life in itself. How we so busily chase after things and run about our daily lives like its the most important thing. At the end, who do we live for? What do we live for? I've found my answer. I live to serve my Lord, Jesus. How about you?

Life ramblings

2011-03-07T23:14:00.002+08:00

God is great! :) i used to be the one who sits in class when not suppose to, and prefects dont really do anything about it, or rather they cant do anything about it? i not very sure. BUT, this time round, God says its my turn to be in their shoes to understand both sides. And now, i am...

Had a field time forcing people out of classrooms till recess because everyone is suppose to be at the field for sports day rehearsal. Waste of time? ya, i agree. but only for those who are not involved. But what can i do..orders came from the top that prefects are to MAKE SURE NO students are in classrooms.

When i got the orders from a teacher, i wanted to argue the rational of students who are not involved hanging around in the field. I think students who are not involved in the rehearsal should be allowed to stay in class as they can utilize the time. And also because it is just not conducive to study or do whatsoever besides doing nothing at the field. Teacher then told me that last week when they were having pre-sports in the field, there were classes that were covered with white powder from the fire extinguisher. After she told me that, how am i to argue for the behalf of the students anymore? And so, everybody is forced to the field. Kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga.

Talking about our small actions that can bring big consequences? ya, this is one. because of a small group of stupid bird brained kids who aspire to b firemen, every student has to waste 4 periods in the field. way to go!

Valentine's Day special!

2011-02-14T21:25:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile, i noe.. Inspiration was scarce. But,! its back! haha.. Valentine's Day

After a while (as well), i flipped the newspaper:) lo and behold, my brain cells started dying after knowing at what our country is heading towards. Why my brain cells died? because there are people out there doing ridiculous things! utterly ridiculous..

I think everyone is already on it as much as I am. Lets do some factual check. Ustazah Siti Nor Bahyah Mahamood related immoral activities, discoing, and couples meeting in private to traditions of the Christian community. The Malaysian Islamic Development Department (Jakim) launched an anti-Valentine's Day campaign. "Beware of Valentine's Day Trap" was launched in Putrajaya. PAS Youth sent anti-vice squads to "hot spots"/"making out spots" and is distributing flyers in parks as part of their campaign to promote a sin-free-lifestyle.

Fwah! looks like not many are celebrating Valentine's Day then. To put my stand in this issue, yes, i agree with these authorities that couples are more inclined to practice immoral activities during Valentine's Day. And yes, everyone should be aware and chip in to solve this problem. But it seems to me, these group of authorities have to make a big issue out of nothing. And it also seems like there is more to this then just curbing immoral activities; attacking the Christian faith! now that is absurd.

It appears that these group of minority are very narrow minded on issues, have bad judgment calls and are very good at manipulating others;especially those who are of a herd mentality. Equating immoral activities to Christianity is just hitting a cheap shot! Certain religious quarters claim that Valentine's Day is a religious festival of the Christians, and therefor Muslims are not allowed to celebrate them. Dear friends, i have been in church since i was running in diapers. I was never asked to, never did and never ever saw a celebration in church on Valentine's Day! This is why people need to do their homework before putting up a public statement. Especially if u are going to utilize public coverage! Goodness. Have some sense of shame please. Don't talk crap, act like a smart ass and think "i am doing the right thing".

As i have said earlier, YES i am wit them in curbing "immoral activities". BUT, Valentine's Day should not be made an issue. Here is my rational. Firstly, "hot spots" have been identified even before Valentine's Day. This shows that "immoral activities" have been on the go for some time at these places! So why only make a move in Valentine's Day? unless it's a once-a-year discovered "hot spot" which i really doubt. For goodness sake, immoral activities are on everyday. Ask any local from any state, they will tell u where these hot spots are.

And this thing about Valentine's Day being a trap. Is Valentine's Day not originally a day to commemorate deaths of martyrs named Valentine? oh ya, i forgot. We dont emphasize world history in our syllabus:) Let me save u the read, Ya, it is. And today, Valentine's Day is just a day to show appreciation to loved ones. Where is the trap in that!?!?!?!? Common. Dont be so kampung, jakun. ulu, bongok (call what u want) The problem is not in the day my dears.. Some people are not being able to see the bigger picture. Valentine's Day is never about having premarital sex. Valentine's Day is never about going to discos. Sigh, i feel like i'm trying to teach a kid to read ABC.
WAKE UP!! class is over :)

No point talking and criticizing so much without a "suggested solution". Here, let me break it down. The problem is people having premarital sex. The situation is that the tendency of this activity happening increases on Valentine's Day. The possible outcome, putting the blame on Valentine's Day would create much controversies and havoc among different quarters. Solution, launch an anti-premarital sex campaign! And, put ur whatever "moral police","jakun officers" oh, i mean jakim.. and "rela members" and whoever u want to patrol hot spots more often.Send the whole army also can. Why not include interpool? wider network coverage. This will be just accepted as another measure taken by authorities in line with the anti-premarital sex campaign.Wouldnt the rakyat be more happy this way? win-win solution.

I better stop now.. getting overly sarcastic. By the way, whats a sin-free-lifestyle? is smoking a sin? how bout talking bad about people? using bad words? disobeying the law? well, i guess that flyer needs alot alot alot of editing and space. perhaps a streamer-flyer? then all the......

Enough boy! stop the sarcasm. Sorry. Adios, till next time..

of barbaric nature, and uncivilized mentality

2011-01-11T21:38:00.002+08:00

Its extra curricular time.. school ends at 5p.m..Students were not even allowed to go out to buy lunch.. so, majority stayed in school from 7.15 a.m to 5p.m.. school just gets better eh? :) anyway, to the point..

Koko started at 3 and suppose to end at 5.. this is d first time school is trying this new policy whereby the whole school have koko at the same time..all uniform bodies running concurrently.. sounds great eh? so, i went for my uniform body meeting.. we had a few lessons of marching, some laughing, some lazing around.. the normal Koko.. after we finished, we were dismissed.. it was 4.15..
i went to my car, started it, and a group of man teachers called me.. i went to them....,,,,,,,,

They raised their voice at me, asking where am i going.. I told them i'm going back (in a very nice respectful tone).. one shouted, u r not allowed to go back! another say, its not 5 yet! i explained that we already finish and were dismissed.. one shout, Nono! cannot go back yet! so my next quest was, what am i gonna do? one shouted, just go and sit around! Then, this specific male teacher asked me in a harsh voice "Which teacher dismissed u all?!" it was a young teacher who was just transferred in.. thats it.. d nuclear in me went off.. however, i answered his question in a proper tone.. and went away..

Realise that teacher who stands out like a soar thumb?? the one acting like an imbecile? ya... he's the one.. some new teacher comes in and asks quest in such a tone thinking he is more superior then all the other age old respected educators.. firstly, my fellow teachers.... there was no need to shout or raise ur voice at me.. I AM NOT A KID! tell me properly that i cannot go home.. secondly, u fellows talk as if i am intentionally doing a crime.. if i knew that i had to get every teacher's consent to go back, i would have jump out the back drain.. it was an unintentional misconception.. talk to me properly that i cant go back yet! argh..

well, these is one of the many types of teachers we have.. one who is all out to prove their superiority to us students.. to show us who is d master and who is d slave..who gives d orders n who listens..sounds like an animal trying to show dominance..and some just cannot voice out an assertive thought! its either talk soft, or talk like a gangster.. what man!

my fellow teachers, lets face reality.. times have changed, and is changing.. brute strength and male ego no longer rule.. its the ability to persuade and to gain respect..so, think! their objective was to stop me from going back.. the route they took, was to show me I'M THE BOSS! and not a route of proper conversation..so much for leading by example eh?? and new teachers, common.... every school is different.. if ur heart is really into teaching, take ur time to tune in to the school's way of doing things.. dont come in wit a preconceived idea that u are almighty..there are many more teachers almightier and the almightiest mighty!

and so, the next time u c an article in d newspaper about a student beating up a teacher or smth like that.. dont shake ur head, frown, curse the student and sigh about the so called "deteriorating manners" in students "these days"... instead, try to think of WHY this student went to the extreme of hitting that teacher..

i am not insulting teachers.. i am just voicing out what others and me think..and, its not to every teacher.. i have high regards and respect for many teachers as well.. their dedication, their compassionate yet assertive heart in making decisions, their full-well intentions for the shaping of character in students, their desire to see the school achieve greater heights..yes, there are these too.. and, my utmost respect and bows to them for these are the ones society can hang on to.. these are the ones students or may i say teenagers are going to follow and take as their role models..

When our basic need comes in abundance..FLOOD!

2010-11-17T23:14:00.002+08:00

To all ye readers.. History repeats itself.. The 2005 flood in Alor Star re-visited us.. only it got bigger, better and stronger this time round.. This time it entered the safety of my house, and forced us all into a spring clean..

Kata-kata hikmat oleh George Santayana (ahli falsafah)
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"
(The life of Reason, Volume 1:1905)

These is what u will see on every page of each new chapter in our Sejarah text books.. Guess many policy makers dont get it.. After the first flood, drains are still clogged with rubbish, filth and PLANTS!.. drainage systems are not improved, future preventive measures were not taken and the list goes on. Not yet mentioning the double tracking system thats as high as a fort which crosses right in the middle of town..Without warning whatsoever, drains the rivers just overflow.. Elect just went out and water pipes went dry..

Now that i look back, i thank God i had that experience.. It has been 5 years since i saw so many of my neighbors.. Its been 5 years since i see ppl just stop and made friends by the road.. Hard times really do bring ppl together..most of the times.. Its because when we then realize that we are not almighty and all-independent..

Everyone got trapped in the house for 4 to 5 days! dad and mum was on a disaster-declared-holiday.. And i can say, it was fun at home.. Everyone got lame-er..all the jokes were spilling out..everyone had to carry and move something.. and i got to wear a Pua-Chu-Kang-Boots in my house! the fun doesnt stop there.. but i shall stop it here.. bad and not so fun times, were there too.. mum too fussy about cleanliness in a FLOOD!, it got rather depressing after awhile, different ideas in what to do at the moment, not being able to study - cost me a screw up in PA paper- and the late night sleeps cos i was on "night" shift.. not to watch for robers.. but to watch for water =_=

It was also nice to c ppl helping out.. The Buddhist association, church bodies, wanita UMNO, neighbors and many more.. We got clean water, rice, buns, fried mee and...LOTS of my pict taken.. For everything i went out to take, i can hear the camera go 100rounds a minute in clicks.. in all these help, i was thinking to myself.. everyone is helping.. Christians, Buddhists, Muslims and Indians alike.. So, what separates the Christians from others? everyone is helping.. everyone is doing good. But i realized something.. Only the church bodies did not come in a "uniform" or "chosen attire".. Others wanted to be known..wanted people to noe its THEY who helped.. but the Christians, they just helped.. fyi, i noe cos they were from churches i noe.. Plus, they did not take picts of me accepting anything..

Now, the aftermath.. cleaning up.. The rubbish pile everywhere seems to get higher and bigger.. No one is collecting them.. Government workers and private alike are queuing up in police stations to do a report to get an official leave. and, the market folks just cant stop talking about it.. I've got so much more to say.. but i should stop..

Reality

2010-10-21T23:03:00.002+08:00

Ever got a culture shock at ur own home? Going through it right now:)

Things have changed drastically since my friends (classmates) left for studies. All of a sudden, everyone around me does not have English as their first language. And being a Chinese who dont know his "mother tongue", its cost me..

For years i grew up with the same group of people. We rubbed shoulders, fought, called each other names, got into trouble at school together. The most important thing was, we communicated in the same language, or more rightly speaking the same "frequency". We could poke fun at each other, made funny sarcastic remarks out of each others words but yet keep a close bond. Those were the days. And i thank God for them.

Today, i am in a new community altogether. My world opened up and it hit me left right and center. Up and down too.. kinna like me in a washing machine. Schoolmates dont speak English as their first language and are from a different background as me. I am the alien. The chinese who doesnt know his "mother tongue". Yes, i do admit that its a shame on me. One down.. and it would be a lie if i say i dont feel ashamed of myself. And so, i started on a conquest to pick up time that was lost all these years in my ignorance to learning.. BUT

I thank God, mummy and daddy for sending me to Kebangsaan school since primary and on to secondary.Sometimes i wish that it would be better if perhaps i went to a SJKC in primary and SMK in secondary..that wish, i burnt straight to the ground. In wanting to learn mandrin, i make myself mingle more with "chinese educated" schoolmates. And it really makes me miss those days. Many chinese educated schoolmates are a wreck in manners, compassion, politeness, sport and the list goes on. Many, not all.. Before you get worked up and pissed at me, read some of my experiences and reconsider..

In my wanting to learn mandrin and accepting my handicap-ness, i deliberately came out of my shell and "socialize". I were with some schoolmates and they hurled insults at my face in mandrin. They thought it was a great laugh thinking i couldnt understand, and they had the cheek to ask me in mandrin whether i understood. I told them i did. They laughed all the more. And, they continued.... Gosh. They insult others in their face! I do make a joke of a person..but i use what that person says. These people, use ur physical appearance to make a joke, OUT OF U! i talked to some people and got to noe that its like that among the chinese educated.."if i am your friend, i will insult u in ur face than behind ur back. in that way, we are TRUE friends" that is being an imbecile.. whether anot the talk is in the face or behind the back does not matter.The issue here is, why must u insult your friend?

A few schoolmates are excited by d fact that i have a chinese name.. and so, they call me by that. Fine with me. To those who sincerely call as an intention to call me, i thank you. But one group of "friends" thought it was funny to make fun of my name. They called me by my chinese name. I dint wanna react cause they were calling it in an insulting way. They kept calling. I thought to myself. dont b such an ass..just give face and turn to them.. When i turned to them, all of them laughed and at the same time made fun of my name. I just smiled. They did it the second time. I blew my top.

Another happening. One friend was setting a "test" for her 4 year old cousin. She drew picts of some animals and wrote chinese words for her cous to match. She looked at me and say, i bet u cant do this right? my 4 year old cousin also can.. i just smiled and walked away. at that moment, my mind was exploding with harsh remarks i wanted to shoot at her. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen -Ephesians 4:29- was what i kept telling myself.

This is just a fragment of my experiences. Personally that is.. Things that happen in class is terrible as well. The way these people treats teachers.. make me wonder if they have emotions. They belittle teacher and make teacher look like a fool. Anyway, i may have my prejudice.. But there are very nice people i noe who are from the same background. And they are really nice people. Still on my mission to pick up mandrin and adapt to my surroundings.

AWAKE!

2010-10-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

hope to update soon... tick-tick-tick.. i need more hours in a day.. wait......, that wouldnt help either!

Adapt or Compromise?

2010-08-16T23:00:00.002+08:00

My last post was July! how time files:(

Anyway, before i begin rambling, this post is merely to voice out what i think and to c what others have to say about it, and NOT to offend any quarters. not my intention. If i am too blunt in this post forgive me.

Its not my first time getting someone to tell me not to put my bible on the floor. And sometimes, being told off in a way too passionate by some quarters makes me think whether i am doing anything wrong.

People tell me that a big difference between Muslims and Christians is how we treat our holy book. On one hand, Muslims give highest form of respect to the Quran so much so that it is to b placed on a special "holder". On the other hand, we see many Christians leaving their bible on the floor. And for this same reason, Christians will not b able to bare a good testimony to our Muslim brothers and sisters. Therefore, some Christians make it a point to not put their bibles on the floor, and to share this idea to others also.In this way, we will b able to adapt to Muslim culture, understand how to respect the holy word and be a good testimony in their eyes.

For sake of argument, i dont recall anywhere in the bible that says putting the bible on the floor is a sin. If there is, pls do drop a comment. And, is putting the bible on the floor a disrespect to it?? How so? if i am standing on a chair, does the chair count as a floor? Many or majority of Christians put their bibles on the floor when they are sitting on the floor for example. The motive here. Is it out of disrespect intentions? if sitting on the bible. thats another thing. And how does putting a notebook on the floor, THEN the bible on top of it count as respect then??

With these thoughts running in my mind, the question arises. whether we are adapting to ways to fulfill the great commission, or are we compromising our believe? this may sound serious. but if we are to go on like this, till where do we stop adapting?? are we going to get all Christian girls to wear a tudung for the sake of a good testimony? eliminate dogs from Christian homes because its considered haram to the Muslims? or abstain from pork though God has made it clean to be consumed?

Why am i saying all these.. i am not against the idea of not putting bibles on the floor. in fact, i think its a good and practical practice to show some form of respect to the bible. What i want to highlight here is the emphasis we put into it. It is true that we are to be a good testimony for Christ in other words, portray a good image in the eyes of others. But we should also be aware that sometimes in the sole goal of being a "good image", we compromise our own principals, our own beliefs.

Efficiency??

2010-07-19T22:37:00.002+08:00

Efficiency - performing or functioning in the best possible manner with the least waste of time and effort

Based on that definition alone, once again school has failed..

Firstly. schooling students wake up on average at say 6.30? At school by about 7.15. KSAH has a policy whereby we have to "berhimpun mengikut tingkatan setiap pagi". Apparently its to give important announcement. The regular procedure is school song, bacaan doa, "announcements". most of the time, these announcements are just teachers who r mike-crazy. Talk crap for 10 minutes, commenting on trivial insignificant matters of no importance at all! By the time we get to class and settle down, waiting for teacher to come, 8.10. from 6.30 to 8.10, an hour and 40 mins gone. POOF! efficient, ZERO!

A week ago, one of d announcements was that form6 (pre-university) students are not allowed to sit in class during recess anymore. the reason was, other forms in d school had to stay out from classes during recess. so it was not fair that we r allowed to stay in class. 10.20 to 10.50, out of class. POOF! 30 mins gone. Before this policy was implemented, many preU students would b in class during recess either resting or studying while eating in class. Now, many hang around d empty plot of land nearby which is impossible to do anything but eat while standing and lazing around. efficiency, ZERO!

Today, right at 10.50 they made an announcement. "rehat dilanjutkan hingga 11.30". Wow! beat that. this is my school:) so extra recess for everyone. The school was in havoc. imagine this. NO TEACHERS around! all of them had some very very very important meeting that could not wait till recess had to be prolonged. From my class i heard windows breaking. d block opposite looked like a zoo where students were running up and down. a group of good-for-nothing students decided to come by the preU block and play with all d fire extinguishers around d block. RM10,000 POOF! BYE BYE! efficiency, ZERO!

Every week, we have 2 periods of RnD (research and development) . sounds like a good policy right there. u should here teacher explaining about it. gave our school that WOW factor. But since school started for us, nothing has been done. So its now, Rehat dan Duduk. hows that for RnD. some smart Alec in d teacher's department thought since RnD hasnt started, it would b smart for d school to use d students for some labor work. and so, 2 classes were chosen to spray "hak milik kerajaan" on new bought tables. Efficiency, a tinny bit for d school. on our side, ZERO!

Many more cases in which efficiency have been d lowest it can get. Too many examples. if i shared all, it wouldnt b efficient anymore as i think my point has got across.

D thing that bothers me here is, d school still treats us like kids. Dude. its called Pre-University for a bloody reason! dont push us around like we have a hollow skull with a pile of dung in it.

school stories

2010-07-05T21:26:00.002+08:00

3 subs r in d waiting list for "perbentangan" or in other words, presentation. one on Islamic Economic System is due this week, another on Perkembangan Tamadun next week, and one funny one on Perkembangan Bahasa Melayu Moden next week or mayb later..

Doing research and having to present it in front of the class does help us in preparation for later. After looking at a few groups presenting, i realised how lacking we as students are nowadays. Blame the education system?? that's a debate for another day.. anyway, d groups that had presented were doing something like a reading class.. they were talking to their books, and just go on rambling d same thing d book projects to their eyes. Confidence, 0. Eye contact, 0. body language, 0. Extra information, 0. Sign of well prepared, 0. basically, it was miserable.

Dont get me wrong. i am not saying or implying that i am better or good. I just imagined them being able to present at a 18 year old-student-standard. or in more chim words, Pre-University. anyway, hope that all d speaking and presenting in church and myf will help me with my presentation.

that was all just "pendahuluan" to my post.. here is d real thing.

Yes, i agree that this is good training for university education. The problem is, teachers/teacher have dumb the job of educating on us in the name of "early preparation". The way i see it, teacher comes into class and gives us topic for presentation cos they r just too lazy to teach. Too lazy to prepare for class and not putting any effort at all in making the class interesting. u may ask how am i sure that they dont have our best interest at heart. let me quote something teacher said. "berapa lama pun boleh. cakap 3 minit pun boleh. apa yang penting saja. kalau tak ada apa nak cakap, mari menari". Best interest at heart? yeah... Teacher's own interest. GAJI BUTA!

And another problem they dont seem to care about, or rather cant do anything about. English is an INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE! which means, many or most research and opinions are written in ENGLISH. and we are suppose to present them in, BAHASA MALAYSIA :)

so what u think? am i suppose to b grateful that i have this fabulous opportunity to train myself, or tell myself that i'm being taken advantage of in the name of 'early preparation" and that i should voice out what i think.

"Chinese Mentality"

2010-06-30T22:35:00.002+08:00

it's been a long time since i have been writing.. my apologies :)

Anyway, with the title in place, some ppl may cringe at me at disgust cos i always have something to complain about Chinese ppl.. izit prejudice u ask.. neh.. i love being one, therefore its not prejudice.. Let me begin explaining what i mean by "chinese mentality"

"Study smart but not hard" used to b my principal in life. Until sometime ago, where i see that there has to b a balance btw both. and so, i changed. in my thinking, studying hard and smart gives me space to be a little bit lazy and yet achieve the same results or better than one who studies hard only.. d "space to be lazy" is a breather for me.

Some how, some where at d back of my head i kinna know that many chinese educated students had d study hard mentality only. Their competition and thirst for knowledge is so intense so much so many dont have time to think through what they are doing. Which is where studying smart comes in. All they do, is just do! Because i nvr had d opportunity to mix much with chinese educated students, i nvr got to see this in 4D (real life)

Today, i did! :) and i was at peace knowing the perception someweher at the back of my head was right after all. Let me tell u this story.....

I was at tuition. teacher gave notes. Then the teacher started teaching. Every word teacher writes on the board, it would be copied on everyone's (chinese educated students) paper. It is so automatic. they look like robots to me! one word on the board, the same word on their paper in that same split second. It was so odd that i was the only one actually listening with my eyes on the teacher instead of eyes on the board and paper like everyone else. I was thinking to myself. what the heck are these ppl copying when everything teacher is writing on the board is already in his notes.. and so, i peeped. they were writing the exact same thing!!!! this is what i call a jaw-dropping situation. i deleted all sarcastic thoughts in my mind and continued on with listening to teacher.

And so, class continued like that. So much so teacher had to say at times, "jgn salin lagi. dengar cikgu dulu". Get a clearer pict on how it was in the class? i told myself. they are just very eager to learn.. and a sarcastic thought came "they are too afraid to loose". i shook that thought away. negative. not good. must think positive of them.

Did my thing, listen and added short notes to where was necessary. Teacher came to a question where we had to transfer information from a table into statements. Since we are new to the syllabus, he decided to write down the answers on d board for us. So happen, he transferred wrong data into the answer. I realised b4 i copied it down and so i transferred the right date into my test pad. i wanted to raise my hand and correct teacher. but everyone was busy writing so i thought, "oh, they know. dont b d odd one out. unwanted attention". so i just sat there and waited till teacher and everyone finished writing. (which was at d same time, cos what teacher writes, is what they write at that same second) After teacher was done, he decided to explain d answer to us. while reading his answer, oh o.. mistake. he said sorry to us. and u know what??? everyone except for mayb 4 or 5 students took out liquid papers to correct what they copied. GOSH!! they actually dont think and interpret wat teacher says. they just, COPY! this time, my jaw dropped lower, and my eye brows..,they just went all d way up.

so happened, the special 4 or 5 students dropped into one girl's hand. when others took out their liquid papers, she laughed at them and said something sarcastic. damn.... all that was in my mind, "WHAT THE HELL!!!".

To cut the story short, the dude sitting beside me got a slight piece of my mind. For a while he referred to his notes and realised that he was copying the exact same thing as in the notes. so he stopped. A few minutes later, he felt left out cos all his friends were still copying. so he went back to this old mindset. Should have gave him the full blow of my mind. he would feel so stupid.

and so,prevails the "chinese mentality". studying hard, kia su-ness, and thirst for knowledge. bad combo.

*i am not implying that all chinese educated students are like this. This is just an event which i observed. no offence to anyone. We chinese have lots of good in us too*

Maids

2010-05-25T22:13:00.002+08:00

Don't every house need a maid.. a sad fact.. i would prefer to use the word "pembantu rumah" as it fits the job description better, and it also sounds better, thus elevating the ranking of maids in our minds.. A rough guess, i think that 4 out of 5 homes whereby both parents r working have maids, or at least a part time cleaner. For those where only dad is working, then mum is "pembantu rumah".

Talking about privileged, i consider myself one.. or at least used too. ever since i could remember, there is always a "kakak" at home. Meals are always ready when i get back from school. not only meals. fork and spoons too! My clothes are always neatly arranged in the cupboard with me only having to throw them in a basket after wearing. Now there.. dont start getting a preconceived idea that i'm a spoilt or pampered kid. i do know how to do house chores, i do them well, and i like doing them. though i nvr really had the chance to do so.

Here comes the interesting part. The privileged which i so considered as a constant factor got taken away! suddenly u have to think of what u gonna buy for lunch, has my dog's food been prepared, are the clothes dry, when was the last time i mopped the house.. it was though at first, but i think my family has adapted. well? i cant say so. just adapt.

As i said earlier, when a deemed constant factor gets taken out of the picture, problems arises. Though i like to do chores, and now get every or all the opportunity to do them, i hate doing them in a rush. But, i have too. time isnt on my side. i have many other things to do. To make things worse, mum is fussy and has a first class honors in "tip-top-standards" degree.. thats bad!
Its not bad that she does everything the best she can. the bad part is, she herself isnt that free and she aint that young anymore (bones and joins began to get rough).

Dad comes back at xxxxhour. mum, xxxx++ hour from work. I, come back at yyyy hour, sis comes back at yyyy++ hour. (the unknowns are for privacy and house safety purposes). And most of the times, i reach home first. There is my uniform + yesterday's family clothing to wash, clothes to hang dry, dog to feed, lunch to eat,body to bathe and gym to go. To do all these in 2 hours (the max time i hav) is crazy. Oh ya, and mopping the floor. i can opt not to wash the clothes, and mop the floor which will save alot of time. But, mum will come back and look at the pile of clothes, feel the sticky (not sticky at all to my feet) floor and decide to do all of it herself. And i totally doesnt help that she wants to wash almost everything after just one time of usage. On one hand, i will have to cram everything into 2 hours max, and i will b exhausted by the time i carry my first dumbbell. on the other hand however, mum is gonna drive herself nuts trying to live up to her standards. Compassion wins over self in this case, and so i cram everything in 2 hours. madness.. oh ya, in this lucky mansion of mine, we hand wash our clothes:)

And so, next time to tell kakak "ini tak bersih, itu tak bersih, tolong ini, tolong itu" try being in her shoes then only say. However there is this voice in my head that says, "a kakak only membantu rumah. whereas us need to study, go to school, membantu masyarakat, keluarga and the list goes on." so that will make us equal. will it?? i'm crapping already. brain overheating.

School

2010-05-18T23:41:00.002+08:00

While school has started for almost 2 weeks now, i am reminded why i felt so dreadful while schooling last time.. It's all coming back again. But this time, i am more determined to do my thing, and make school a better place. And of cos, minus my burning temper which makes things so much easier..

And so, teachers have started coming into class, introducing subjects and giving us an overall pict of what we are going to bang our heads into for the next year and a half. Being from this school is an advantage for me as i already know most of the teacher's attitude and how they function. The good ones, i rejoice. the bad ones, i shrug my shoulders and study myself.

It's interesting to c diff types of teachers in one school.. we have those committed and know their stuff, those committed but not really well verse with their stuff, those who r empty clanging tins, and those who just dont give a damn. What u r about to read now, is a real story. one i heard by my own ears and gave a sigh cos our dear government is being cheated.

Teacher A was telling about his "life", what he does and how he earns money. The interesting part was this. Teacher A said that school is school. After school, i drop everything and do not want to have anything to do with school. He tells of his "outside business" and how he got cheated by his friend and so on. Wow. here is one teacher who tells that he doesnt give a damn about u after schooling hours. Plus, out rightly sharing that he is having other businesses which a government servant is NOT SUPPOSE to have. so much for "Guru Pembina Bangsa"..

On an unrelated matter, a few students complained to Teacher B that there was not enough parking space at the student's car park. The next day, Teacher B assembled all the 6th formers and gave this announcement. He says that our school is already very kind to provide us with a student car park when they can easily ask us to park outside. His solution to the problem was, first come first serve. That was his solution!!! I bet my little sis can come up with a better solution than that. Analytical approach, creativity, problem solving, all out the window in one second =_=

Well, this is school today. Sometimes coming to school entertains you as how a circus would do. Things get more hyped up when u c teachers ganging up on other teachers they dont like! So these are the teachers we are exposed to, asked to example and heed their teachings. Though there are these "not-so-looked-up-to" teachers, there r also those whom i respect and desire to example. Thumbs up to these group of amazing teachers. God bless u all :)

Off to bed. Tomorrow another day in circus. Thing is, i already bought tickets for the whole year..haha!

judgment vs mercy..

2010-05-17T22:10:00.004+08:00

A storekeeper who whacked a police man with a helmet was fined RM6,500. But he pleaded for the court to be lenient as he only earned RM800 a month, has a wife and 2 kids to support, and had no previous criminal record. Too bad the magistrate deemed his excuses unacceptable, thus he was sentenced to 3 months jail.

A granddad rapped his granddaughter, aging 12 and 5 months old. He is entitled to 33 years of rotting in jail, plus whipping upon conviction. But just cos he was 50 years and above, he was only sentenced to jail.

This 2 cases was enough to get me thinking. So should we abide by the law a 100%, or should we be overflowing with mercy?

To paint a smaller picture of what is one my mind, here is a simple situation. Lets say u r a class teacher that has to arrange ur students in a sitting order according to the name list cos HM says so. Part of HM's plan in helping students "integrate" with each other and not stick in cliques. And so, as a good teacher, u do what u r asked too. However after doing it, u realise that u have stuck a girl in btw 4 guys. This girl comes and plead to u to change her place. What's worse, she brings up stories that she was once molested and do not feel secure anymore.So what will u do? follow orders and letting the poor girl sit there miserably the whole year, risking the chance that she will b disturbed or harassed by the guys. Or, letting her change her place and flushing HM's plan down the bowl. Which one will it be?

Rules/Laws/Orders that r made with proper rational behind them r rightly to b followed. After all, they r laws. But, should we allow mercy to come into consideration in executing the law? If we dont follow the law, we put our self at risk from higher authorities. If we dont show mercy in judgment, we r seen as mean and unforgiving. How how how??

Lets c what the bible says... "For judgment is merciless for the one who has shown no mercy. But mercy triumphs over judgment" James2:13 WHAT!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

somebody help me decide what is right..thanks

KTM Komuter

2010-05-03T13:05:00.002+08:00

Since 1995, it has been a long 15 years since KTM has offered their commuter services in Selangor. And in these 15 years, i can say that KTM is a slow learner. Besides opening more stations and offer passengers more routes to go to, accepting Touch 'n Go fare cards in 2005 is the "smartest" thing done till last year. With 36,557 million passengers in 2008, we should think that it wouldn't be a bad option to use this service.

And just a week ago, i had the opportunity to use this oh-so-profitable service. I know i know.. kuno right? but at least i still tried it! and i promise u, it was my last. Imagine a small enclosed coach with a pool of ppl..sweating, stinking, pushing, touching all a mere cm away from u.. That is the atmosphere in the commuter. And apparently, it wasnt "peak" hours yet! It was madness in there. Going in the train, u can forget about manners..coming out, the same principal applies. Everyone just wants to squeeze in that narrow door. In and out, its the same door. Lady or man, every part of their body is used to path their way out/in.

While in the coach, there was this dude's hand rustling my butt from behind. God knows whether its on purpose or not. But i think not. Cos he would b gay then. Anyway,my face was millimeters away from the dude beside me, my back and shoulders were stuck to other ppl's. There was no where for me to hold on to, as i couldn't move and was clutching to my bag. To make things worse, the stupid commuter had to accelerate and decelerate periodically to keep it at a constant speed. That, was my experience.

The thing that got me mad was seeing my friends in the same coach. The difference is, they are girls. To think that they are experiencing the same things i was really pissed me. KTM already knows that 60% of it's passengers are ladies, and the other 40% consists majority of horny brainless man. Yet nothing was done. Articles after articles, complains after complains were lodged but things were still the same. I read one complaint a lady published, saying a man behind her actually took out his penis and rubbed her behind! if i was that lady, the man's last toilet break would b the last he remember peeing from that hole!

And so, introducing "Ladies only at all Times".. the "smartest" move that tops the list. and that, took 15 years..haih. With this implemented, hopefully the ride would b more comfortable for ladies. Thing i wonder is, will we be rising a generation of young molesters as boys under 12 r allowed to enter? haha..

One thing I've learn from this.. ppl say that reading broadens our mind. Neh, reading just gives u a fake graphic according to what the writer wants u to think. To broaden yourself, you need to experience things for yourself. Next time u see a pict in the papers which show our PM in the commuter smiling in the pink of health with so much space, don't believe it..it's a conspiracy!

what will happen?

2010-04-29T15:12:00.002+08:00

when u have too much free time, ur mind wonders.. so happened i was thinking about how much the human body can take..

lets say i kidnap a guy.. i pull of all his nails..slit each web btw his fingers and crush his toes.. then, i pull out all his teeth, and tear his lips.. next, i hook his eyebrow will fish hooks and pull them off all at once.. super glue on one of his eye comes next.. then,i cut the guy's tragus with a pair of scissors.
next, big round rings into both his teres major, triceps brachii and extensor digitorum longus..and then, we rip it out! next on the list, breaking of knee cap plus 2 inch nails all around the thigh and backside.. i think that would be enough for now.. for the finale, a good bath in concentrated salt water..

will the dude still be alive?? i dint touch any vital organs.. perhaps cos of blood lost..i dont know..

WAKE UP!!!

2010-04-19T14:14:00.001+08:00

FOCUS!

2010-04-13T23:33:00.003+08:00

school is starting around the corner for me, and my mind is still not in tuned to focusing. Thoughts zoom at super speeds in my mind. One after another. Before one thought can be considered, another zooms by. And this, kills me. Wanna know why? let me give u an example.

Sistem beraja yang diamalkan di negeri-negeri Melayu berkembang mengikut sejarah dan.......... "i should update my blog later", "no, mayb go c my friends","study for an hour and half then i'll stop","tomorrow must wake up early so must sleep early tonight","MYF Sunday is coming","where is Isreal, Jordan and Jerusalem?","FOCUS!!"......kebudayaan Melayu yang pada peringkat awalnya dipengaruhi oleh unsur agama......."stop peeling ur nails!","how am i gonna put this into compact notes?","i should visit the Balai Nobat day after tomorrow","must go check bus ticket to penang tomorrow","some one's birthday is coming up!","FOCUS!!!!!!!"..........Hindu-Buddha. "what did i just read!? argh!" Sistem beraja yang diamalkan di negeri-negeri Melayu....., and the cycle goes on.

Times have changed. Everything is fast going. Everything is using the principal of "now u c, now u dont!" Our minds are full of all these fast things that we cant slow it down anymore. Everything is now made to be on the go. Fast. cars are getting faster, computer technology is at an amazing speed, work can be done on the laptop on the go, wireless connection is easily available at many eating shops now, commercials are adding more scenes per second, and many many more. Everything is just so fast. To give u an example, a C2 drink advertisement on the tv had 19 scenes in just 25 seconds! Prego sauce, had 8 scenes in a mere 14 seconds. Try counting the movements in Transformers movie per second. impossible! And because of all these, reading forces the brain to think at a snail pace. Understanding a line of words and interpreting them. The longer the line is, the harder it is to focus. I believe this doesn't happen only to me.

Its high time i learn to slow down. First on my plan, consistent longer quiet time, and a weekly fasting quiet retreat! hope it goes well:)

life

2010-04-03T12:36:00.002+08:00

looking at the clock ticking..time is running, and nothing can stop it.. life moves on,easy or tough, it moves at its pace.. BUT, time stopped this morning:) hiking was fun!! its been awhile since i went for a good hike.. the mist, the trees, the rays of light, the wet mushy soil, and mushrooms!..awesomeness in God's creation.. one thing i have always wondered.. y did God create mosquitoes.. they are annoying, not of use, and not nice to look at.. not magnificent, and they die in a smack of a palm! thank God..

Thanks to Jeremiah School (JS), i finally understood i'm "wild".. yeah..took me so long to pin point it.. explains most of the things i do, and why i cant keep still.. anyway, in these short time of hols, i tot it would b good to train this "wildness" into something good.. train to keep it in check and balance, using it for the good, and not for the bad.. And so, starts my "bugg-ppl-list" to go on excursions.. to those whom i bugg, sorry.. its only till i get my car:P

On the same topic, it disturbs me to think of what mum and dad thinks of this.. letting ur kid out to waterfalls, cycling, hiking.. mum is not in favor of me going to waterfalls after the "slipping" incident.. but i cant NOT go.. the waterfall calls me.. haha.. and i cant just stare at concrete and smell carbon monoxide for weeks! guess i will only b able to feel what mum and dad feel when i get my own kids next time:P

listening..

2010-04-01T12:19:00.002+08:00

After a few times of speaking in front of a congregation, i realized something.. some of us has gotta learn to listen! There are sooo many courses and programs on making a person an eloquent speaker, ways on how to catch ppl's attention, conveying your points and so on.. but seldom, or nvr do we hear of courses to teach ppl how to be a good listener. Same goes for leadership. Its always "leadership training", and nvr "follow-ship" training. If everyone is gonna lead, who is gonna be lead? If everyone is gonna speak, who is gonna listen?

And so, my experience in giving a report, testimony or sharing in front of the church is not something i look forward to. One has got to realize, this is a youth speaking. We have doctors, teachers, and all sorts of high profiled occupation ppl looking at u.. that gives enough pressure.. Second, when u are up there, damn.... u can see everyone's faces! that..is super scary.. Sweat will be dripping down your back, your throat will feel like dry bones, and your brain cant seem to take over the situation. its like pure adrenaline!

I wonder whether pastor gets scared when he gives his sermon..everyone is staring at you.. if that is not enough, some will be frowning! and some will do the "what-u-talking-about" face.. It feels like u are being critically analyzed by hundreds of eyes and experienced critiques.. Lucky for me, there are a small fraction of mainly teachers who know how to listen. they smile and nod when u speak.. phew.. a relieve to fix ur eyes on these angels when u r up on stage. thank u for smiling..

Back to my point, we need to learn to listen.. when someone is talking, smile.. put on ur best face and analyze that individual secretly in ur brains.. nod to show that u understand what that person is talking.. frown, for a litttlllee while if the person speaks nonsense.. not frown the whole way like that person is talking the most ridiculous thing ever! and later, give feedback to the person if u have something in mind.. dont start a gossip group about it.. it wont do any good as the person who really needs to hear it wont know.. and so, this is also an expect which i need to learn..especially the facial expression. i tend to have a flat blank face when i listen to somone giving a speech.. One lesson for the day! cheers!

Bikes.. frustration..

2010-03-30T18:12:00.000+08:00

The age where i am legally allowed to ride a bike has long passed.. The desire to own one is deeply burning.. I came out with a hypothesis .. the longer this desire stays un-quenched, the higher the cc of a bike i'm gonna get when i have my own money to spend!

I just borrowed a bike from a friend.. i have a license, and i'm used to traveling on the road. but no.. ur reason is that it's dangerous, and its not "our" principal to borrow things from ppl.. U wanna talk about safety? its safe for me to climb the roof to unclog holes, its safe for me to cycle around town, its safe for u to bulldoze through traffic during peak hours? Dont argue for the sake of winning.. I have been cycling at every hour of traffic u can imagine..4.30 in the morn? 9.00 in the morn? 2 afternoon? 3? 5? 10 at night? 2.30 in the morn? i've done all those.. so its safe for me to cycle but not safe to ride a bike.. ok..that sounds soooooo logical..

And how come u can ride a bike last time but i cant now? why cant u just understand that "last time's" safe is last time.. for us, THIS is safe! we have been living in these conditions since we were born! same like next time.. we might have flying cars going at 110 on main roads.. it may b supper dangerous for me compared to now.. but for my kids, it's a normal thing! dont u get the idea????

U wanna talk about safe?? and u are planning to get me the most fragile car money can buy.. good going man! awesome "principals" u have there.. and u got a problem with me borrowing?? how about if someone wants to give me one? what u gonna say about it?

Bible asks me to honour u.. that is the reason i'll keep quiet.. u r in power, u r in authority.. i'll obey..

stepping stone

2010-03-23T18:20:00.002+08:00

my next "big step" in life.. form6! Whooo... till now, i've not heard of one who wants to do F6 willingly.. most of my peers are packing,some have already gone, ready to go head on with the world out there.. Good results, apply for scholarship and out they go.. not so good result, parents burn a hole in their pocket and, out they go..(its for a good cause though). bummed into some who asks, WHY F6?? its like the most ridiculous idea they've ever heard. I've done my reasoning, and i personally think its best for me to stay on home a little while longer..

First, i've not been much of a "good" boy for the last past years.. where u think dad and mum got their white hair and wrinkles from?haha.. and so, i think its time to redeem myself.. yes, i've been forgiven. but as Zacchaeus gave half his possession to the poor, i believe that repentance should come along side with actions. gonna stay home and try to be of help to my parents. Plus, once i go away to study, i'll be most probably gone for good.. am i ready to look back next time and tell myself i've spent enough time with my family? staying home 2 years more will buy me time..

Second. Am i ready to leave house and be independent? the million dollar quest. will i get "sesat-ed" if i leave home? i think i am, but at the same time, its too much a risk to take. staying back for F6 will give me time to mature a little bit more. plus, mum and dad will be able to knock my head once in awhile if i get off track.

Third. i'm gonna run for northern district comm..i feel its a place where God wants me to serve..if i go away to study, i dont think i'll be residing in the north.. plus, i have not been a good testimony to Christ in school..redemption time.. and MYF, yeah..i can still help out there plus serve in church..

i've got more in my mind, but i'll stop here.. someone did say to me, perhaps its because i'm afraid to leave my comfort zone..hmmm...mayb. but whatever it is, i'll have to leave in 2 years time.. everyone says F6 is hard.. am i up for it? i'll find out pretty soon.. God be with me:) Cheers!

SPM results

2010-03-12T14:32:00.002+08:00

D DAY was yesterday.. the truth was unveiled..efforts rewarded, laziness punished! harsh truth that is..Anyway, its sad that the results had to come out when i was in Pangkor with most of my JS family.. and it is interesting to see how everyone reacted, both who were not getting results and those who were..

When the results were out, there were tears, there was intense self pity, and of cos, there was also joy.. as for me, i am relatively alright with my results (all glory be to God). but there were soooo many questions running in my head after i got my results.. what exactly does this "results" show?;how "smart" we are? how many A++++ is enough to satisfy one's desires? do ppl's view on me change after my results? what has changed that i have got this results? what would have changed if i did better? whats my next step? are my parents proud of me? have i brought glory or shame to Christ? what is the right Christian response? how do i comfort my friends that dint do "well"? questions were just running in my mind without time to find answers..

After thinking through, i know one thing for sure.. God is proud of me.. whether anot i did "well" in the eyes of the world or not.. And i am happy with my results, for God has paved my next step for me. And, no matter how well or how bad others or myself did, we are all still in one body of Christ, where no one is more important than another.

Things of NOW seems the most IMPORTANT.. many ppl fail to see that down the road, many other things will intervene in the equation.. move on, accept it, give thanks, and learn.. there is always always hope.. dont know about you, but the experience that i went through my form 4 and 5 was more important to me than my results are.. whatever it is, i hope that everyone can move on from here and continue with life.. Congrats to those who did "well", and to those who dint do "well", remember that there are always other things which u r better in:)

* well is put in inverted commas because "well" is subjective to ones perspective and opinions..*

FYI, i got 6A, 4B and 1C.. thank you to all those who have been remembering me in prayers and to those who have put in so much effort into helping me with my studies:) thank you so much

Spring clean!!!!!

2010-03-12T14:22:00.002+08:00

as some one commented, its dusty in here.. time to start back writing after a prolong period of brain-rusting! haha..

Happy New Year

2010-01-04T12:32:00.003+08:00

wow..dusty blog.. it'll b collecting more dust soon:)

Anyway, its a start of a new year! wow..but i dont think my brain has moved on yet.. time to crank up the rusty nuts after a long long long time of preparing for Christmas..

Ok.. update in Feb.. pray for me in JS..thanks

an interesting email i got

2009-12-05T00:28:00.001+08:00

I'll tell you my story. I
married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple
of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so
my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More
problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he
is my uncle

Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my
brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I
am my own grandson..

Self reminder

2009-11-10T07:39:00.003+08:00

Ephesians 4:30-32
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, just as in Christ God forgave you.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

2012

2009-11-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

hot topic for table talk, pillow talk, bible talk.. say what u want.. to me, its just bullshit..

Mathew 24:42
Therefor keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.

Mathew 24:44
So you also must be ready because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him.

Isn't it obvious enough?? Just because the world says 2012, make it a great headline and into some "dooms day" movie with awesome effects of the world exploding does not mean its true.. as the bible says, the word will set u free.. the world puts in lots of "truths" into us these days.. the bible clearly says that U DO NOT KNOW, DO NOT EXPECT.. see..answer right in the face.. plus, someone did open my eyes that people have been waiting for His coming since Paul's time..generations before us also talked about end of times..

the thing we should pay focus on is not WHEN He is gonna come.. but are we ready for his coming.. why put so much effort and kill so many brain cells to figure out whether 2012 is the date when we cant do anything about it? instead, put our effort and kill out brain cells for something we can change.. our self..

Luke 12:35-36
Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him.

The verse does not say be dressed ready to count the time your master will come back.. right? in conclusion, 2012?? wrong focus.. hope this post shade some light to those who are finding answer to the million dollar question.. "IS 2012 THE END OF THE WORLD??"

i need to learn mandarin!!!!!!!

2009-11-05T17:55:00.003+08:00

i was having lunch with dad at a stall, when a girl approached me..she's about 23 i think..somewhere there lah.. she came right up to me, took out a small boy's photo and some paperwork.. at that same second, she was already blabbering on and on about the little boy.. That's not the problem..the problem was, she was inches away from my face! i had to lean back just to look at her! plus, my dad was doing dono.. what man.. pity me only..

So.., she went on and on.. showed me so "permission slip" with a red crescent on it, where she flipped back and forth, back and forth..the only thing i could see was the red crescent.. and while i was trying to make head or tails of the situation, she was talking on and on.. all i could her from her mouth was blabbers.. gibberish! plus with my useless command on chinese, it sucked worse.. as the drama was going on, i looked at dad.. he wasnt even looking!! man.. i'm all alone..:( fine.. acting as the "good samaritan", i took out my wallet, and fished out 2 bucks.. when i was about to give her, she flipped the slip at me again, pointing at "RM20"..and it was double underlined! i was like WTF man.. she also showed me receipts of other ppl, signing 20 bucks..

With the best and most polite chinese i can put on, i asked whether 2 bucks can.. she was like bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and pointing to the underlined RM20 on the slip.. IDIOT!!!! in her blas she also tried to convince me that she has permission to collect money and that she was not cheating me.. (at least i did understand something) fine.. i gave her the money, and she gave me 3 pens.. off she went.. BLOODY FOOL!!

after she went, dad looked at me.. (yeah right..about time he do so).. i'm not gonna post about what my dad said..haha..

so... this is the part where my brains start a QandA session on what happened.. first thing was, did she just cheated me.. after thinking about it, i told myself.. for her to come down to the stage of begging, she must b really in need of money for the boy (oh ya..i still dont know who the boy is, or what he is suffering from..language problem..:P) if she really needs the money, and i just ignored, that would b cruel.. plus, she dont look like she was on drugs.. or at least when she was begging.. and she dint smell of cigarette either..plus, if i were ever to b in her situation, i would really want ppl to donate too.. On the other hand, what if she did really cheat me? to overcome this, i prayed.. Lord, of she is really in need, let my money help make the boy better.. if not, she will b answerable to u.. that was my prayer.. and so, i think i have done my part..

come to think of it, i could have done what Peter did.. "i have no money at all, but i give u what I have : in the name of Jesus Christ.......and start a prayer for the little boy.."haha.. but then again, i suck in my mandarin..darn..

searching

2009-10-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

searching the fine meaning between,

wisdom and knowledge..

brave and stupid..

intelligence and emotions..
stubbornness and persistence..
happiness and joy..
routine and life..
farts and burbs??
friends and brothers/sisters..
"dont careness" and peace..

behind every one is an experience which opens doors and leave much to discover..

the blue spot

2009-10-22T00:58:00.003+08:00

i have found it! the blue spot of clear sky in the dark gloomy sky.. things are starting to brighten itself..maturity and brains are sinking in into my thick skull.. in simpler terms, i have found the meaning to live.. or rather a clearer perspective.. sounds good?? yeah..i think so.. but.. i believe that everything has it good and bad..

because change is change, every other things has to be changed to suit the change.. complicated huh.. one simple example.. friends.. now that i'm a "little" different, i dont think and function like how i used to anymore.. i begin to see what and who i have been with all these while.. makes me go."gosh! i dint know".. for once in my years of living, i am out of trouble! haha.. for years, every problem or "deep shit" my friends get into, u will c me there.. but this year, neh.. think i'll b the "good guy" for a while.. it's nice to see and realise that i am changing for the better..but its sad to know i cant bring my friends along with me..

good friends are scarce--period..lesson of the year..most ppl are just what i call "passing friend"..i've been in the blur for years, and its high time i rejudge the ppl i am with.. whatever it is, i'm grateful i have the best friend ever looking after me..one who has gave me grace and the holy spirit..

daddy and mummy, thank u 4 praying and not giving up on me..:)

ARGH!!!!!

2009-10-05T23:22:00.004+08:00

would all the stupid idiotic brainless humans stop irritating me!?!?!?!

want me to study, but making my life so miserable.. think b4 u act!! how difficult is it to just go through your actions in ur mind b4 making them?? how difficult is it to talk to ppl first to confirm b4 just bulldozing ur way through thinking u r the right and the smartest one!!!!!!!!!!

U ppl are so lucky i am who i am now.. or else.......say hello to the old tim..

i need to focus..but i cant..my friends are more important to me than myself.. is that bad or good??

for those of u who know what i mean, know that i'm here for you..praying..and holding back my anger to avoid things from getting worse.. for those are the predetor..of cos u wont know its u, start thanking God i have learnt to forgive and forget..

injustice

2009-10-04T14:56:00.002+08:00

today's metro paper had an article that caught my attention.. in this specific article, it talked about IPT girls in KL who wear and act like holy muslims, but at night, they are wild in pubs and discos.. the report was made by this 40 year old contractor guy who told about his experience paying one of these girls to go makan, clubbing, and even sleep with him..he also mentioned that the girl asked that her real identity to not be told to anyone, fearing that her friends might think bad og her, and bcos she has a good reputation in her uni..

my friends who were reading this was commenting that girl's now a days are cheap and so on... to me, they are just being stupid.. lets look at this in another angle.. This contractor guy.. is 40 years old.. what the heck is he doing with an IPT girl? and who is the one who paid her? who brought her out? the blame is to b fully hung on the girl.. the man on the other hand, is so proud to reveal the girl's scandal without thinking that he is also in the wrong.. and our society, just look at girls and say cheap.. they dont look at guys and say pervert (stone is not our society..he just called me a pervert)..

even during biblical times, moses's law allowed divorce to be carried out when newly wedded wifes are found not to be a virgin.. the blame is on the girls again.. how about the guys who took away her virginity?? they get to lead normal lifes and marry another virgin.. thats pretty skewed..

and it is almost everyday i read news on rapes and chargers on rapists.. 6 strokes and RM5000 fine.. their punishment will sounds something like that.. common!! 6 strokes and some money? i used to get canned when i was a kid too.. if government is to propose castration as a punishment for rape, i'll b all out for it! life time trauma, stuck with an unwanted unknown man's kid, lost her virginity by force..shoulnt the person responsible for all these be punished more than just some strokes on their butt?? ridiculous..

bra.....

2009-10-03T22:42:00.003+08:00

i cant believe i'm gonna write about this..but it was pretty interesting.. The creation of a gas mask bra got a team to win the 2009 Ig Nobel Prize.. how cool is that? a bra.. haha

from an under garment to an outer garment.. the evolution of bras has come a long way.. from normal, to furry, to strapless, to push ups and many more i dont know (girl's stuff).. now, its become a mask! incredible.. i shall not commen on this further.. just wanted to highlight it in my blog..haha.. who knows.. i might come out with an underware that can be a pouch or something..:P

angry earth

2009-10-03T00:28:00.002+08:00

i think it was yesterday's star paper.. front page was headlined in bold, ANGRY EARTH..typhoon, tsunami, earthquake, sand storm recently.. u name it.. therefor, headlines was ANGRY EARTH...

My commen, HELL YEAH!!! how not to have all these disasters when we are inflicting it on ourselves? i remember just a few months back where the whether suddenly seem to be over hot..what can be said? we are selfish beings..

Cycling has been part of me since 13... since then, times have changed.. to cycle now is a torture.. paddy fields are being turned into concrete fields..more and more cars on the road..buses are racing with each other, jamming down the accelerator as hard as possible while leaving a black layer of soot on your face.. stupid inconsiderate ass holes keep burning rubbish as if its the best way to get rid of them..stupid nyanyuk old grama and grandpa drive their super old bikes that leave a trail of white smelly smoke behind (dont think just bcos they r old i'll leave them out)..
people are just getting more and more stupid..thats my only conclusion..as long as their house are nicely in tact, everything outside does not matter..

i always get those big paper boxes from the photostat shop to put behind class as a recycle box..i go round classes, emptying people's desk of ancient, untouched worksheets and exam papers.. my class teacher threw the box away! and guess what..he is the guru penasihat for the environmental club.. nonsense! untterly out-of-the-world! well, what i do is, just get another box and start all over again.. i saw the mak cik who cleans our school pick up the box that was threwn into the dustbin.. at least i know she sold it for recycling.. so i wont mind if he throws it away again..just get another one.. simple..:)

next complain.. WHY CANT I SPEAK CHINESE!!!!!! ARGH!!!! sucks to b a banana.. shame on me..big hunky chinese but know nothing of your mother toungue..shame shame..sigh.. but, if i knew......i think i would have hurt so many people's feelings.. all those old uncle and aunties who keep burning their gardening waste, drive their kapcai bikes that gives out whits smoke, all gonna get a piece of my mind.. i'll say something like this.."i know la u gonna die soon..lau liau..but we still wanna live in the cooling nice world u lived in last time..last time education nvr tought u about a balanced ecosystem izit?....." i can go on and on till they drop dead.. unluckly for me but lucky for them, i am a banana..hmph..

our government workers another one.. everytime i go to the lab in the hospital (mum's second home), lights will be on as iff electrict is free.. the central air cond, DAMN!!!! its like i entered alaska or something......i shall not go on, or i'll nvr finish.. and more inappropriate words gonna pop out..

goodnight..

history

2009-09-28T00:22:00.002+08:00

Truly, truly, history is HIS-STORY... as people say, facts are facts, but not truths.. facts are opened to subjective thinking, interpretation and judgment..

Somehow, in our history syllabus, agama Islam is polished and smothered to shine like anything! Islam is the greatest, everything in Islam is right.. honestly, i'm ok with it.. i understand that one is of cos proud to b a believer to his religion.. but, here comes the problem.. other relegions are downgraded in the process..

When they talk about how Portuguese came and conquered Melaka, they associated to how they came with their slogan "Gold, Gospel, Glory".. everything of the Portuguese is bad.. when British is concerned, we are made to memorize factor-faktor penentangan British.. things like meghapuskan adat pehambaan and pendidikan tradisional.. If one was to study and put some thinking into what we read, it is obviously biased.. Eg, it is ok for Acheh to "menaungi" tanah Melayu to "menghalang agama Kristian dari disebarkan ke kawasan pedalaman".. its ok for Johor-Riau to menawan Melaka to prevent Christianity.. put the same purpose for the portuguese and brit, wouldnt it be for a good purpose in their eyes?? as my dad said in his sermon..fairness is just an earthly principle.. what is fair to one side is unfair to another.. it works the same here.. so its just so stupid of out education to put down other religions..

This is why so many of out students come out so narrow minded.. and education has come to a state where its just memorizing..not questioning and thinking in other perspective..wierd.. we dont even thank British for bringing in proper education.. a proper education structures.. missionary schools..post office.. neh.. Brit is seen as crushing their adat resam and budaya..

His story.. that is what it is to me.. yes, things i learn now has happened..but they way out writters put it out is just so myopic.. shame on us..

Thoughts

2009-09-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

The world is soooooo bigggg..

at this very moment, babies are born, people are dying..some are starving, crying for food, some are trying so hard not to throw away their over ordered food..some are happily spending time with their families, some families are at the verge of abomination..some people are loking for a purpose of living, some have given up, contemplating suicide.. someare happy to know their first baby is in her, some are struggling to get an illegal abortion upon their oopsie baby.. some are seeking God, some are running away from Him.. some are chasing after their earthly dreams, some just give up and live day by day..

how wide the world is.. how things can happen..how small decisions can lead to millions of different life paths..how simple decisions can bring one's destruction.. how cheap life can seem to some, and how fast we can loose close ones..

now that i have put out all the bullet train thoughts out, my life seems so blessed.. i want to help ppl..i want to give others the same experienced that changed me tremendously.. is it idleism as my parents told me? is it just a move of emotional inertia due to current events? or izit something genuine in me? i think i'm going crazy...

finally

2009-09-15T23:44:00.002+08:00

FINALLY!!!! it's gonna b over..in exactly 14 hours..phew.. i survived..hopefully till tomorrow

through this stupid out-of-the-world-test, i learnt much.. for one very sure thing, getting straight A's for my spm seems like a far-fetched idea, or like the understatement of the millennium! man.. how am i gonna pull through..this sucks..

another thing i learnt is not to make promises to yourself if u cant keep.. beginning of this year, made a promise to myself. u r not to sit n feel stupid during exams anymore.. that promise was kept till this stupid trials! i had time to sleep and feel stupid! pitty me..

I also learnt that i can study till 2! haha.. and i could do with only 4 hours of sleep if there is enough motivation and anxiety.. cool huh..

next, i also learnt the meaning of "peace that surpasses all understanding"..b4 i went into this nightmare, had a prayer with family..that was what dad prayed 4 me.. n yeah..i was kinna peaceful.. but i did get jumpy for some papers.. also, i learnt lots from scirptures lately.. reading the bible after hours of worldly nonsense knowledge is a great breather..

summor things i learnt.. not going to gym makes me a pig! i sleep for hours in the afternoon..

hmmm.. oh ya.. i also learnt that i should learn b more responsible! haha.. thanks to little sis, i have a "borrowed" correction tape, liquid paper, and a geomatric set..

enough for the lessons.. newsflash.. our beloved Nicol David is no more world champion.. sigh..feel sad for her..imagine me in her shoes..i think i'll jump down the highest building..haha.. as ppl say, the higher u climb, the more painful the fall is.. and that's why most athelets quit when they reach their peak..:P

sabah n sarawak

2009-09-12T21:31:00.004+08:00

NOW.... our government is finally gonna do something..i hope..

rape and molestation on Penan girls by loggers was reported last year.. a committee was set up to check and all those nonsense.. even when i read about it last year, i somehow already believed.. but as usual, our government will just shut up, spend time and money on stupid things.. finaly when the report is out, they pretend to jump and pretend to take actions..

the fact is this.. Peninsular Malaysia has been forking out everything from sbah and sarawak, but they get nothing in return.. timber and oil from sabah and sarawak has always been a major income to out country's economy.. but too bad they dont get to enjoy the benifits their own land produce.. till today, there still nomads living in sabah and sarawak! our government has been allocating funds and stimulus packages for education and to abolish poverty and stuff.. but all those are only focused to the peninsular..

its sad to c our own fellow citizens suffering.. imagine..getting rape on the way to school..sigh.. what the heck are the police there doing!? our government are always focusing on patty issues.. small isues are made big.. media attention, special rights.. bullshit man.. after 52 years of "glorious" independence, sabah and sarawak are still like that..

cant kementerian kebajikan or some other kementerian allocate some funds to provide transportation for school children?? wouldnt that open up job opportunities too?? well, it will seem like something impossible.. as it is, billions are spent on the latest H1N1 case.. 7 "special labs" are being established in Malaysia.. for a 23 million ppl country, that is a wastage!!! what happened to "we are ready" b4 H1N1 hit us.. besides, they spend all their time and effort on whacking the ass of a caught drinking malay woman (Kartika).. aint that just great..

10 years olds getting molested..what has happened to humanity..

Malaysian brutes

2009-09-09T23:19:00.003+08:00

The stepping on a bloody cow head in a protest at Shah Alam recently has seriously put Malaysia to shame in the eyes of the world.. the incident is plastered all over international news, and loads of ppl are giving comments.. and here we are trying to tell that one of our specialty is living in unison with diff races..

Quoting verse 108 in the Al-An'am chapter of the Quran,- Muslims were also forbidden from insulting or desecrating anything that the followers of other religions worshipped so that they would in turn show respect for Islam.

Every morn, prayers will b read out through the PA system.. the whole school is at a minute hold.. everybody just stop walking and wait the prayers out.. Muslims and nons alike.. at 1.20pm or so, azan from the mosque is read..again..class activities is just put on hold for a moment.. isnt that called respect? to me, i think that is serious respect..

but what is new.. bcos of a few tribal buffoons living in the city, Malaysia has got a bad name..common..won't common sense tell bringing along a cow head for protest will cause racial disharmony? and a stupid lawyer can say that the cow was to sysbolise stupidity of authorities for relocating a Hindu temple in their "majority" Malay area.. to me, its pure nonsense and a stupid excuse..

what's so wrong building a temple in a majority muslim housing area? heck they build mosque and suraus in a non majority housing area.. besides, their prayers can b heard kilometers away! so what so wrong with building a temple?? so hard to understand some ppl..

so much for respect.. next time uztat baca doa i should try hitting his songkok off once.. c whether i can get away by telling that is how chinese ppl say good job..haha..

Oh ya.. when HINDRAF did protests, ISA was brought into play.. lets c whether our government will send their own kind into that pit hole.. bet u a million years! not gonna happen..

thinkling

2009-09-09T17:24:00.002+08:00

during this festive period of trials, my best friend is water and ice!.. during exam, must have water to drink.. while doing last minute study, also must have.. if not i gonna get a fried dry brain.. not mentioning food.. another thing that keeps me alive through exams..

I feel sorry for my Malay friends who has to go through exams without food or water.. imagine writing essays and doing analytical thinking for science subjects for 4 hours a day! plus studying.. without water and food.. respect is something they have gained from me..besides that, they pray 5 times a day!Its been 5 years in my school where i always here Islam camps being organised by school.. talks and lectures in the surau..every morning, prayers are read through the PA system..

My question is this.. where are we Christians compared to them? time is running short.. so many Christians i have talked to just smile at me when i ask them about quiet time.. to many teens now, studies is top priority.. not studying is a sin, but not reading the bible is ok.. many only pray when they are in trouble.. to sing praises to out Father in heaven is a weird thing for many.. why is this so??

i think we are too comfortable at where we are now.. let me tell u this.. dont wait till its too late..

*typed this post out of emotion rush..cant put my thoughts in order..sorry

eye opener

2009-09-06T14:48:00.002+08:00

just now.. was an eventful chemistry paper..

there i was.. trying to figure out a 16 mark question on hydrocarbon..and suddenly, a chinese guy sitting two tables away from me started shaking.. teachers dash towards him, and the whole hall was in mayhem.. everyone was standing up to see what is happening.. the boy got an epileptic shock..one teacher said, "panggil cikgu cina".. and a call was made.. after the shock was over, teacher asked me whether this has happened.. since he is not in my class, i said i dont know.. teacher also asked me whether his parents has been contacted, and i said i dono..i went to him and asked if he was ok.. he just gave me blerr look.. therefore, he is deffinately not ok.. i went to one of his chinese friends to ask for his house number, he gave me a stare and singnal that he was busy answering his exam.. i had to walk all the way to the front of the hall to other chinese friends to ask for this guy's number.. a few minutes later, a chinese teacher came, boy's dad came, he went home..

something struck me so deeply in this event.. one, no body bothered to help him..exept teachers of cos.. his friends.. the ones he always stick with.. the ones he laughes and spend time with.. no one came to help him.. all of them just looked, and continued doing their exam.. i know, its an exam.. but wouldnt it help if one of his friends came and give teacher his house number.. or perhaps let teacher know that he has history of epileptic shocks.. or perhaps he has medication in his bag.. nothing.. his "friends" did not even bother..

is this how it is now?? the kia su attitude is rooted so deeply till compasion is covered.. if someone was to be dying, i think they will still just sit and answer their exam.. going to tuition 45 minutes earlier, not wanting to share information, study 24 hours.. i understand.. but this? isnt it just too much? it is very very hard to find good friemds now.. sigh..

next eye opener was what teacher said.. Panggil cikgu cina.. even when we are in pain we are discrinated?? so much for one malaysia.. i think teachers think that epilepsi only effects chinese people.. i dont see a reason why they need to call a chinese teacher.. if he has some magic powers ok la.. this shows us its the mindset. its so set that we bind of rational.. chinese, let chinese ppl handle.. it never occured to the teachers that i can also do something..

our moral standards are going down the drain.. sympathy, caring, rationale.. all hilang ditelan zaman.. the worst part was, i was so upset till it disrupted my concentration to continue answering my hydrocarbon question..

Attidute

2009-09-04T11:08:00.003+08:00

keharmonian antara manusia dengan alam sekitar..(keadaan saling memerlukan hubungan yang harmoni antara manusia dan aam sekitar supaya kualiti kehidupan manusia dan alam sekitar terpelihara) That is one of the god knows how many nilai moral we have to memorize word for word.. does this brainwash of the government actually work??

while waiting for transport home from tuition just now.. a car stopped by.. out came this man from the right side of this car.. the minute his leg touched the ground, he spat.. i was like WTH.. nvm.. 3 seconds later, a woman came out from the left side.. his wife..i think.. the minute her leg touched the ground.. spit.. now i am like.. WTF..(dont mind the language pls) 2 minutes later.. a girl pass by me..in her hands was a box of milo, and she was taking the straw out from its wrapper.. right at the time the straw was out, that very second itself the wrapper had already touched the floor.. despite having the urge to pick up the wrapper and dump it in her over-gigantic-for-tuition-bag, i hold that urge and just sighed to myself.. on my way back.. a van.. the driver reached for a cigarette bos from his pocket.. opened it, and took out a cigarette.. the same second he did that, the box was flung out of his window to the road.. @#$%^*&^%#%#$&^%#&^%@^#%&^#%^&%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is wrong with our people?? the attitude.. if u are to read carefuly, u will realise that there was no pause in their actions.. it shows that they dont even think twice or once before littering or spitting..if our government were to actually implement a law like in Singapore, our country will be rich over night due to the fines given out for spitting and littering.. as malaysians, we have a rotten attitude! that is my only conclusion.. and..no amount of nilai moral memorizing can change it.. therefore, ABOLISH moral stuidies..!!! YEAH!!

on an unrelated note.. i realised this over a few occuring events..
If u get everything u want in each step of life, look around u.. U r not actually ALIVE!

Kedah Spm Trials

2009-09-02T19:50:00.002+08:00

Here are the spotted topics for tomorrow's paper.. no guarantees for i dont know how reliable it is..

Bahagian A
- kerajaan bani umaiyah
- zmn gelap
- sistem feudalisme
- nasionalisme
- konsep pengasingan kuasa

Bahagian B
- kewujudan tam awal
- Islam di Asia tenggara
- revelusi pertanian
- kerajaan persekutuan malaysia
- kedatangan islam ke tanah melayu
- zmn logam
- wahyu 2, surah al-mudasir

tagged by yi hong

2009-08-28T12:01:00.002+08:00

My Autobiography

Rules: Once you've been tagged, Fill this out and repost as, "My Autobiography" And use your own answers, not anyone else's.

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
i hate picts..

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
clothes

3. What is your current problem?
i've got oil in my ear and its bugging me!

4. What makes you happy most?
happy moments

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
i WAS listening to beautiful savior by planet shakers

6. Any celeb you would marry?
hate them

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
dont know..

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
toilet tiles, toilet bowl, sink, dipper and so on.. a very very large audience

9. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
i look like me.. no one else..

10. Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?
i watched "teletubies" the last time tv came out..

11. Do you speak any languages?
no..i speak gibberish.. (stupid question)

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
no

13.Do you ever watch MTV?
many many months back.. i think its a year already..

14. What is something that really annoys you?
oil in the ears..

Chapter 1:=====================
1. Middle name:
what?

2. Nickname(s):
my name

3. Current location:
home sweet home

4. Eye color:
what kinna questions are these!!!!

Chapter 2:=====================
1. Do you get along well with your parents?
ya

Chapter 3: Favorites===========================
1. Ice cream
boiling cream

2. Season:
holiday season

3. Shampoo/conditioner:
...

Chapter 4: Do You...===========================
1. Dance in the shower?
...

2. Do you write on your hand?
at times

3. Call people back?
if i think i have to

4. Believe in love?
ya

5. Any bad habits?
ya

6. Any mental health issues?
mental health issues?? gonna get if i dont finish this dumb questions soon!!

Chapter 5: Have You...=============================

1. Broken a bone?
ya.. lots of chicken bones..and animals of other kinds..

2. Sprained anything?
no

3. Had physical therapy?
no

4. Gotten stitches?
ya

5. Taken painkillers?
i love panadol.. celebrex works twice better

6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling?
on my bed

7. Been stung by a bee?
ya

9. Sworn in front of your parents?
once.. it was the first and last..

10. Had detention?
no

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last===================================

1. Movie you watched:.
meet the robinsons

2. Three people to text you?
joseph

3. Person you called?
my mentor

5. Person you tackled?
some guy in a rugby match

6. Person you talked to on MSN?
i dont talk on MSN

7. Thing you touched?
what?

8. Thing you ate?
going to eat lunch

9. Thing you drank?
going to drink sup

10. Thing you said?
crazy

HOW I END MY SENTENCES===============================
1. My ex: perince in driving is a lot more than one year.
3. I love: to torture
4. People would say that I: am a boy.
5. I don't understand: the purpose of this tagg
6. When I wake up in the morning: i go back to sleep
7. I lost my: hair everyday... (if my facts are right, 100 a day)
8. Life is full of: life.
9. My past: is increasing.
10. I get annoyed very quickly when: i have to answer taggs which are super long.. and being ppl's SALVE!!haha
11. Parties are: held by people.
12. I wish life was/had: was life..
13. Dogs are: torture subjects..
14. Cats are: torture subjects too.
15. Tomorrow is: a mystery
16. I have a low tolerance for: alot of things
17. If I had a million dollars I would: if i get then i decide
18. I'm totally terrified of: (face your fears boy!)

Tags:
it ends here..

here in your presence

2009-08-24T01:24:00.002+08:00

how long

2009-08-24T01:24:00.001+08:00

how long more are we going to keep quiet? People of every religion knows "don't push Christians, or you are going to feel their god's wrath"besides, history has proven this statement.. even as a teen, i've heard this over and over again.. the thing here is, how long more are we just gonna be happy and proud of this "title"??

it occurs to me that we are getting too comfortable.. we are no more looking forward to suffer for Christ and know that its an honour.. are we ready to go to jail like Paul and rejoice as he did in Acts? through building of events, this has been rubbed into me.. and the sermon today has drove me to write this out..

Little little things in life get us so worked up and doubt God.. we often forget that He is of the impossible.. we sing praises, we read the bible.. but do we stick and believe in this truth?? Pr. Joshua who spoke today proved to us that Jesus lives!! must it take someone who has a background like him to remind us?? SHAME ON US.. we pray for so many things.. but do we act on it, or are we still so selfish to go an extra mile for others?? as it is, Jesus asks us to love our neighbours as we love ourselves..

No air-cond in church, complain.. Music bad, complain.. when there are work to do, we push it to others.. we are an ENEMY in our own church! wake up! lets check ourself and see where we are with God.. are we just pretending to be good?? coming to church with a mask? there are so many people out there who are lost..

As pastor said.. Robbers are not affraid to rob, why are we so afraid of sharing the thruth?? we complain that our country is distorted... lets wake up youth! no point complaining.. do something about it.. If everybody wants to leave this country, then when will change come??

LUKE 21:34 says, becareful not to let yourselves become occupied with too much feasting and drinking and with the worries of this life, or that Day may suddenly catch you like a trap..

Lets not wait till its too late.. the world is in need of salvation and the thruth..

carving..

2009-08-19T22:42:00.004+08:00

yup.. I'm into carving now... my TOMBSTONE!!!!

one week more to go.. i've bought the plot of land, my coffin is in the making, and friends are arranging the ceremony for me.. for those of you all who know me, you are welcomed to pay your last respects..:P

see you all in my next life!

Tagged by a few..i cant remember

2009-08-18T23:35:00.002+08:00

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your blog post.

if you a guy- post this as my kind of girl.
if your a girl- post it as my kind of boy.

1.Do you need him/her to be good looking??
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. of cos she will be good looking to me..

2. Smart?
definitely not stupid

3. Preferred age?
FYI,guys die 2 years or so faster than women.. so...,i havent made up my mind

4. Preferred height?
so long as our lips can reach without much difficulty..:P

5. How about sense of humor?
if its humorous to me, then its ok..

6. How about piercings?
max 2 on each ear, and no where else!

7. Accepts you for who you are?
hard one.. i'll always change for the better.. so, she must accept the always future changing me..haha

8. Pink hair?
depends..

9. Mushy or no?
know when to be..

10. Thin or fat?

BUFF!! then she wont die if i squeeze her..

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
my colour, +/- (i dont think mum will like it if i got a white or black right..)

12. Long hair or short hair?
straight, long, with slight natural wave..

13. Plastic or metal?
as yi hong says.. FLESH

14. Smells good?
smell is in the nose of the smeller..haha

15. Smoker?
i'll cut her lungs out!

16. Drinker?
on occasions and a little i dont mind..

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
tak faham..

18. Musically inclined?
i really wanna play a duet with her..:P

19. Plays piano?
duet on piano of cos..

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
both.. no also nvm.. i can teach..

21. Plays violin?
if its as squeaky as my sis' playing, NO!!

22. Sings very good?
yup yup

23. Vain?
NO!

24. With glasses?
anything would do..

25. With braces?
braces will have to come of some day...

26. Shy type?
not much..

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
rebel with others, good to me..haha..(i'm dreaming)

28. Active or passive?
EQ is knowing when to be..

29. Tight or bomb?
BOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!! Weapon of mass destruction! haha..

30. Singer or dancer?
i'll get a strip pole in the master bedroom next time..haha!

31. stunner?
a little.. makes us a crazy pair.. can rempit with me..:P

32. Hiphop?
no.....

33. Earrings?
2 on each ear.., no where else

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
no commen..

35. Dimples?
yes or no also nvm..

36. Bookworm?
knowledgeable..

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
wan wan..

38. Playful?
back to EQ.. i dont mind a little though.

39. Flirt?
yeah.. with me only..

40. Poem writer?
not to emo.. (cant handle)

41. Serious?
EQ..

42. Campus crush?
what??

43. Painter?
YEs!! then we can paint together..haha

44. Religious?
Its a must..

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
not till they whack me up..

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
no.....

47. Speaks 20 languages?
20?? lets see.. english is a must.. malay, chinese (to order food), tamil (to know when my friends talk bad of me).. enough la i guess... others will just be a bonus when we travel..haha..

48. Loyal or faithful?
BOTH!!!!!

49. Good kisser
haha..

50. loves children??
LOVES our childeren, LIKE other ppl's children..

Budaya Lepak

2009-08-17T00:42:00.003+08:00

Finally, i feel what its like to be a Malaysian (refering to budaya lepak).. its been so many years that i always see young malays racing on their noisy bikes outside my road.. shouting louder than their machiens can roar..honking to make their presence known, and most significant of all, "scraming" when the blue rotating lights are in sight..

Last wednesday, i got the opportunity to stay out till 4 in the morning.. My friend was depressed.. probles of life.. so he asked me to keep him company and to lend him an ear.. so i went out at 11.30.. we went to kfc (24 hours).. spent an hour there, then decided to sit by the petrol kiosk to watch mat rempit.. after one, they died down.. so we decided to roam town and see what night life this little town has.. bistros and entertainment cafes were still open.. but not many ppl.. the open area near Balai Nobat, packed with youngsters.. just sitting there doing nothing..

Due to the not-so-happening things in town, we decided to do some crazy stuff at the roundabout.. i think i'll skip that part.. 3 a.m.. we went to star-walk.. and we got disturbed by a pack of girls!!!! WTH.. just because we were on bicyles they think its funny to disturb guys.. stupid bi#*@es.. while we were still roaming, they passed by us again, with smoke in the car!! crazy ass ppl smoking in the car.. btw, there were 4 girls in the car.. no guys..

Before going back, we drop by the "new" kfc in town.. summor youngsters lepaking there.. there was a group of "adults" in their 20s.. 3 guys, 3 girls.. the 3 guys were teaching the 3 girls to smoke.. a sight to behold.. on our way back, passe by Balai Nobat again.. at nearly 4, it was still filled with the same ppl when it was 2..

when i was in bed.. it got me thinking how lost so many people are.. all i can do is just shake my head looking at these people's ignorance..

**this is the first time i've done this in my many years of living.. so, i'm not "them"

a simple confusing catastrophe

2009-08-12T00:42:00.003+08:00

Father Lord.. forgive me for i have failed You..

Give me another chance.. i promise to be different.. amen..

Time is of the essence,
whats lost is gone,
what has been is done.

Look into the future boy!!!
grow up.. catch back time..

HELP!!!!!!!

1Malaysia

2009-08-11T23:04:00.002+08:00

1 MALAYSIA!!! sounds like the best propaganda in our Malaysian history..

well, first thing that cross my mind, wow.. for once i see light in Malaysia.. but after months waiting, listening to opinions, and following the news, i think its just a political propaganda.. so much for putting the "rakyat" first.. on the top, yeah.. things sound good.. PM visiting religion celebrations and so on.. but the problem is here.. somewhere called "down-to-earth-"

i was reading the malay paper, and there it was.. "Islam dan bukan Islam".. how long more izit gonna take for us to be classed as one? Malaysian... Malays here have been fighting for all their "hak" ever since Melaka was founded.. its always hak istimewa melayu.. bahasa melayu.. islam.. lets get real here.. we (non-malays) dont live every minute telling ourself to threaten the position of Islam.. we got lots more to worry..

why dont Malaysia try something called "equal footing".. where everybody is juged based on performance, skills, abilities.. and not skin colour..wouldnt that bring Malaysia to greater heights??

TRIALS!!!

2009-08-06T23:37:00.002+08:00

TRIALS....

I'm COMING for YOU!!!!!

**i'm just psyching myself.. far from ready..sigh

Forever tagged..

2009-08-06T23:14:00.002+08:00

1. How old are you?
still young

2. Are you single?
yyup

3. At what age do you think you'll get married?
depends on when i finish studying.. 25 mayb?

4. Do you think you'll marry the person you are with now?
i'm single..

5. If not, who you want to marry?
u mean i get to pick?? awesome..

6. Who will be your bridesmaid and bestman?
not open for selection yet..

7. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
traditional?? boring....

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
stay on hot air balloon for one night..haha!

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
daddy, mummy, san, che che, and wife's family.. about 10 would do perfect:P

10. Will that include your exes?
not included in the 10..

11. How many layers of cake do you want?
10 layers..one person one layer..haha

12. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
Night la!! then straight away take off in hot air balloon..

13. Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
hear comes the bride..all dressed in white.....

14. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork? Knife?
fine dining for 10..

15. Champagne or red wine?
BEER!! cheers..

16. Honeymoon right after wedding or days after the wedding?
as stated above..

17. Money or household items?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

18. How many kids would you like to have?
Two or three

19. Will you record your honeymoon on DVD/CD?
common.... i'm not trying to make porn here..

20. Colour of wedding dress?
whichever suits her best..

21. Wedding card?
home made!!

22. Wedding gift?
as long as i'm getting.. not giving any..

23. Camera man?
as long as i'm not in it!!

24. Whose wedding plans would you like to know next?
Th, dan, joanne, calvin, joyce, stone..grace, aaron.. anybody also can..

Love the Lord

2009-07-28T23:26:00.003+08:00

Love the Lord your God with all your hear, soul, might and strength! Glory be to our God

A very nice song.. liked it the first time i heard..enjoy..

new bible

2009-07-28T00:00:00.003+08:00

one more post before i go rest on my throne..

i've got a new bible!! yeahhh.... *just sharing the joy.. its small, compact and cute..haha

well..i'm just happy cos i can bring it around..the one i have now is too big.. besides, its not everyday i get to buy a new bible.. plus..Alor Star?? neh.. but it came right into the church with Scripture Union (SU).. so, why not.. only RM19.50.. because the dealer had no change, i got it at RM19.00.. all in all, a good but i must say..haha.God's grace..

The first verse my new bible spoke to me was Proverbs 30:17... 2 things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die, Keep falsehood from and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor RICHES, but give me only my daily bread..

darn.. have to vanquish all my "money-making schemes"

on another note, i think i need a new layout for this old blog skin.. comment "yes" if u think so..thanks..:) god bless

An appeal

2009-07-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

to everybody in the world wide web, this is a pleading appeal from a small schooling boy..

PLEASE PLEASE do your part to save our planet.. ITS HOT!!! i'm sweating when i study, eat, and even sleep! how is my body suppose to rest when its extra perspiring?? there is not a minute my face can stay dry without being drenched in oil.. and my ass..it keeps on getting soaked when i seat!!

Just play your part.. recycle papers, service car engines, don always on the damn air-cond..smoke less.. copy more (photostat less).. i dont see why tuition places must have so many air-conds.. and dont carry out open burning.. it's so lucky i dont know how to speak chinese well..if not, i'll be telling all the old ladies who burn dry grass in the taman..

It's a nice world.. God said it was "very good" when everything was created.. please give me a chance to grow up and travel round to see all the "very good" creations.. with the amount of haze now, i think everyday is gonna look "cloudy" in the next 20 years..

p/s.. Indonesia- STUPID!!! YOUR FORESTS ARE ON FIRE A** H***S.. AND I KEEP ON CLEANING MY SPECS, THINKING THE LENSE ARE DIRTY..

relfection

2009-07-25T22:57:00.002+08:00

Due to boredom, i decided to read back my little half-done dairy in 2007..i think.. little did i know, it was that day i had to pray for repentance for my past actions..

To re-read my diary, it feels like it was in another life time..a person so foreign to me..or rather a concentrated dark black shadow of myself..things i felt in the pass, things i did..brought back dark memories to me..things i will want to forget..

After u was done reading, damn..i cant believe i have survived through those things..those days where everything seemed so so gloomy.. i could feel the rage and depression i was in.. never in one day of those months was there a happy joyful entry..and yet, i survived till today..well and happy..one pat on the back for me..:)

When reading, i saw glimpses of people who actually cared for me, who my real friends were, and who were "passing-friends".. so sad to know i trusted the wrong people and hurt all the nice people in my way.. worst part of the diary was.. "where are you god? don you care about me?" it pierced me so painfully i went straight into prayer.. He was gracious to me all the time.. i was just blinded by all the rage in myself..

Imagine that..i wasted one whole year destroying myself.. but..i think i have caught up a little bit..much more to work on though..lessons learnt, mistakes done, experiences obtained.. time to move on.. as people say, yesterday was history, tomorrow a mystery..today, a gift..:)

Konkatsu

2009-07-15T13:33:00.002+08:00

Another happening event in Japan! think Gonguro is funny? this latest trend, is one is mind blowing!

The name is KONKATSU a.k.a marriage hunting.. Japan statistics shows people Japanese are getting married at the average of 29.4, compared to 25, 30 years ago..

Just yesterday, there was a "ball" held for singles in Tokyo.. the event was konkatsu.. so, every "single" bodies are welcome to find Mr and Ms right.. the whole point of this ball is to "try to fall in love".. imagine that..falling in love in 3 hours? To spice up this latest trend, a lingerie maker even created a bra with a ticking clock that can be stopped by inserting an engagement ring.. imagine ladies walking in town..tick-tick-tick..haha

Well, this is not the first of its kind in the world.. "marriage hunting" has been on for long now..in early days it was called match making.. with development in technology, now we have Match.com.. we also have things like "brides of the shelve" in Singapore..

All these happenings are scary.. This all show that people now have no time to even get in a personal relationship the right way! things like getting to know each other well is not in play anymore.. heck, u can hook up with somebody on the other side of the globe! If people are getting married after knowing each other for just a couple of months, how are these marriages gonna stand?? explains the spike in divorce rate in the world..

Everybody is just pouring their life into their work.. Every minute is an opportunity to get money, to hike higher the hierarchy at work.. There is just no more time for personal relationship..the cycle goes on.. get desperate, get hooked up by "love at first sight", jump straight into marriage, get kids, quarrel, divorce, fight for rights..., and it goes on..

Don't know about you, but for me.. it seems scary going into adulthood.. its like a inferno in front, just waiting to burn me to crisp.. worst part is, i cant walk the other way..

Ganguro

2009-07-04T23:50:00.002+08:00

Ganguro.. a Japanese rebellion fashion said to have hit its hay days in 2000.. But now, its spreading to the west..haha..

What exactly is this ganguro.. its just a fashion to show revenge against traditional Japanese society due to resentment of neglect, isolation, and constraint of Japanese society.. the Ganguro fashion is also said to be a way for self-expression and personality..haha..

here is an example of the ganguro fashion..

she looks extremely weird.. ppl who practice this fashion are known as manba.. funny.. to be a manba, tan your skin with cream, wear blue contacts, dye your hair with neon flourecent colours, white lipstick, and white eyeliner.. the fashion also goes well with white glitter..

here comes the weird part.. teens in UK and US have already picked it up..and some say they hate being white! here we are, hiding from the sun to keep fair, there they are taning themselves with creams! one girl in UK said she has to use coffee powder to get darker tan.. funny world i live in..

tuition, the new school

2009-07-03T11:50:00.002+08:00

Tuitions.. ask any teenager, most of them will tell you its their best friend. The times we (teenagers) are living in now, tuition has almost become a must.Wanna find a person who has 7 to 10 tuition classes, no problemo.Students with strings of tuitions are no more an abnormality.. in fact, one without them are the abnormal ones..

Looks to me like the whole education system has took on an evolution..haha. Ask any of our parents, they say something like this.."where got ppl take tuitions.during my time, only the very rich get tuitions, that also 1 or 2 only..and see..we still came out ok.." ain't this a common and old lecture to us.. But...., there is also another diolouge i am very familiar of.. "i used to have the best teacher".. adults always tell me that.. sadly, it is not now..

Schools.. aren't they suppose to teach and educate us?? that is not the case anymore..now, we learn from tuitions.. so imagine..the 7 hours we spend at school for 5 days, has to be substitued by tuitions! explains why the strings of tuitions..

Teachers in schools now, sigh..makes me say.."i will pick up teaching in uni, to become a teacher, my teachers weren't", and not " i will pick up teaching in uni because i have been inspired by my teachers to give others the experience i had".. i have teachers who come in to class.."hari ini cikgu penat.kita mula belajar esok"..i have teachers who can't remember simple formulars..how are we suppose to learn things in school?

Compared to the "old-timers"(senior teachers) who knows everything at the tip of their fingers..the sort of respect that creates adoration and be an inspiration to students..one which know their work well and can really explain all the "whys" that come in ther way.. too bad for us, these quality teachers can be said, at the brink of extinction.. new teachers now cant even speak English well, they dont know formulars, and they teach with a Cd which goes.."EXCELLENT" everytime u click the right answer..they manuever their bikes in school compund, and right up to the class' doorstep!..how are we to respect teachers like that?

So, we go for tuitions.. tuitions which are taught by senior teachers..tuitions that we can actually learn something at.. therefore, tuitions are now playing the role of schools..students would rather pay RM250 a month to go for intensive tuition than go for free extra classes organized by schools.. why is this so?? shouldn't schools look into the matter and find a better solution than "semua wajib hadir..kalau tidak, kena denda".. sound like a frikking joke to me..

I know, i know...not everything is to be blamed on teachers..we as student have to play our part too..no point having the best teacher and we sleep and gossip in class right?? no point learning from the best and not do any revision at all.. But thing is, the weight here is more to the teachers.. We are, whay ppl say.. "raw".. as an individual growing up, still imature, we need someone who can inspire us..who can really educate us well..set an example to us.. besides, if a teacher is really inspiring and interesting, we wont be sleeping and gossiping in class..

As my mentor told me (she is also a teacher).. i blame myself when students make noise in my class because it shows i am not able to make them interested in my teaching..another teacher said.. "before every class, i look through my notes..u think its easy teaching? students now look at you, waiting for one wrong move to fire at.." him saying this shows the burden to teach in him..

yes, there are non-senior teachers who are very respectable..but they are few..and i really thank God for putting me in a place where i can be taught and inspired by these few..to name them, A.Amelia, U.Ti Pheng, A.Kanaga.. and to the senior teachers.. A.Peh Lan and U.Ch'ng.. THANK YOU..

**i was inspired to write this post by Mr.Ch'ng..

shocking..

2009-06-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

i always knew that the entertainment segment in the newspaper has shifted to the front..(our politicians are like cartoons).. but something hit me recently.. there is now a horror segment too!

PAS spiritual leader, Nik Aziz said he is willing to forgive Umno if it apologized..WTH!? As a small boy growing up, i have never ever heard of an advise which says, "forgive only if ppl say sorry"..and this dude is a spiritual leader of the religion they call "right"? Don't Muslim belivers question or look into what they are following before just diving into it?? Its really shocking and upseting for me.. its like a blunder that just passes closed eyes!

and he said, "do you think it is easy to forgive? If it was easy to forgive and forget immediately after a wrong is done there would be no point in learning history." Sweet Mother of Ganja!! so we have to wait till the issue becomes "history" before forgiving??

i dont know how to write anymore..i dont know how to lay out my thoughts in words..i've never felt this stirred up before..but what is for sure, the work of the evil one is being exposed outrightly in the world and many dont realize or just dont care less..

randomness..

2009-06-24T22:26:00.003+08:00

my mentor told me this interesting phrase.. If we (Christians) don't reach out to the prison, the prison will reach out to us..

Surveys has been made and show that most prisoners come out worse than they went in..out with new techniques, experience from other inmates, and the will to beat the system they were defeated in.. and when they come out, we are gonna get worse criminals..

If we don't reach out to them, the prison will reach out to us.. Its simply means that if we have worse criminals, we have to fence up our house..put alarm systems, barb wire, rare K-9es, dozens of padlocks, and even to the extend of staying in a gated community where there is a guard house at the entry.. Don't that sound exactly like a prison? without realization, we have brought prisons to our house..we have made our homes prisons..

Therefore, we as Christians should take that step of caring for our society.. reach out to them while they are still in prison..show that there are actually ppl who love them.. as i believe, as long as a person is still alive there is hope..all that is needed is someone to show them that..relating to this, prison ministry is on my to-do-list after SPM..

changing..

2009-06-20T23:47:00.002+08:00

ok..I've changed it.. from "forever wrong", now its "view from above"..sounds brighter right? yeah..i know

why i changed it?? well, my mum saw "forever wrong", and i got a lecture!! man..she said, "put child of God"."everything also wrong how can?".. i was like..its just a name........ she went on and on.. and on the very same day, AJ7 commented and said.."right, forever wrong"..so..i take it as a sign to change..haha

why was it "forever wrong"? well.., so happened when i started up my blog, everything seemed in ruins..and what was left standing were already falling down..and it also seemed to me that everything i did was wrong in ppl's eyes, and everything ppl did was wrong in my own eyes..so, "forever wrong"..

why "view from above"?? actually, i have no idea..it just popped out from my mind..and after some thought, yeah..its a good one.. cos many times we live day by day..wake up school, tuition, same ppl, same air, same traffic, same pet, same bed..and worst part, same next day.. its like living in the same hole everyday..fretting on the same thing..but if we could just master the skill of looking from above..the so many more things we can realise..so much more to appreciate and look for in live..it sounds like a much metter perspective to me..so, its "view from above"..

a thought

2009-06-18T19:09:00.002+08:00

i read an article and it just occurred to me how money illiterate we Malaysians are..

Our education system teaches and educates us..help guide us to our next step in life (so called).. but as usual, our education system lack lots of things..and one important thing we never thought about is that students are not educated to deal with money.. One thing is for sure.. No money, No talk..that is how influential money is in our lives now.. Sounds to me like everybody wants to strike their first million at 30.. their first super car at 25.. What many dont know is that 90% of Malaysians age 65 and above are broke..

This shows that we don't know how to plan ahead.. to save money..to invest..are these skills not as important as learning to fix pipes as we learnt in Kemahiran Hidup? Heck, i think so.. As Tony Fernandes said, business is all about timing and long-term strategy.. But we are not educated in school about all these..

what is the point of learning up just before we are going to use? long-term strategy is about learning it when young..at our age.. Ppl like Warren Buffet, started investing since he was 9! and here we are at our teens spending like no bodies business..every bit of pocket money we get, spend.. Handphone credit, new clothes..saloon..hanging out..ciggarattes and to earn back that much of money, teens start selling drugs..illegal betting..stealing..

and to think about it, in my school fees every year, there is always this amount for the Koperasi.. and when i was in form 3, the koperasi Club called all of us, and gave us a free cream-o..our "divedent"..i pay every year as a stock holder, and i get one cream-o biscuit after 3 years!? c how we get cheated..and only this year after learning accounts i figured it out.. see why the education ministry should also teach us how to finance?

Getting great grades and a string of A1 is just mastering the skill to build a foundation of a building.. to help us have a good start..but what about building a complete building? what is the point of starting well in a job and yet not know how to deal with money?

By educating students from young, standard of living can be greatly inproved.. imagine a society with the "know how" of spending and investing.. wow.. then ppl won't get fooled by dangling carrots like "cheap cars".. ppl will know that sometimes, buying an aset can sometimes be a liability as u spend years paying up for the loan..and most of all, i think loan sharks will be out of business.. less red paint around..

F@#*

2009-06-17T22:32:00.001+08:00

Well, something i learned..

In the end, no body dies a virgin..
Cos we all get f@#* by life at one point..

math wonder

2009-06-14T15:09:00.002+08:00

try this out..

1. pick a number btw 1-9
2. multiply by 3
3. add 3
4. multiply by 3
5. add the digits of your answer

let me guess... 9 right?? awesome..

tagged

2009-06-13T23:22:00.002+08:00

tagged by sarah..(duh..!!its OBVIOUS)

1. Who are you?
i am what i am

2. Are we friends?
yup

3. When and how did we meet?
at church school?? how ah..saw a small monkey jumping..:P

4. Did you like me at all?
is it possible to not like a person and b friends?? hmmm...

5. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
missie.. cos everybody calls u that..haha

6. Describe me in one word.
oh..that's easy.. BULLY..!!! two words also can.. BULLY BULLY

7. What was your first impression?
i cant remember....i was a small boy!

8. Do you still think that way about me now?
definately not..

9. What reminds you of me.
shopping? hehe

10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
a magical list..(write something, get it immediately)

11. How well do you know me?
well...i think...hehe

12. When's the last time you saw me?
MYPG

13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
yup

14. Are you going to post this in your notes and see what I say about you?
what?

15. What is my best attribute?
down to earth

TAG :
-Dan Ting
-Calvin
-Joyce
-Stone
-Jo-n
-TH
-AJ7..up for some nonsense?hehe

13 Jun

2009-06-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

This is the date... Of my last school holiday.:( next hols shall be after my exam already.. So fast, 2 weeks just flew by..

Tomorrow, back to waking up early..hot classroom, annoying teachers.. most of all.. EXAM RESULTS!!! lots in stored for me..if i could just push them all away..argh..

homework

2009-06-10T22:31:00.002+08:00

homework time.. on monday, teacher AJ7 took us to a jazz concert..Tay Cher Siang's WVC's Trio +1..and so, our homework was to write about it..

personally, not a fan of jazz.. classical? neh..blues? yuck! anyway, i still hold to my favourite..religious pop still my personal favourite..

If u ask a person with no musical background, jazz will just seem like musicians showing off and boasting that they can play.. the solos and stuff..yeah..very boastful.. but to me, its ok.. I've never seen a jazz concert before so its was an interesting first time.. What caught my interest was not the music itself, but the skills of each individual in the band..

Skill wise, 100% respect.. though i have finished my grade8 in piano, i seoiusly felt so stupid..haha.. Its so wasteful.. the amount of money put into my music education, and i just left it to rot..starting to play some old classical pieces to polish my rusty fingers..hopefuly i can play well again soon..haha

Anyway, love the bassist and keyboardist.. the drummer too.. too bad in jazz, only the brass wind and piano is appreaciated.. the bass and drum din't have a chance to solo..imagine that...so unfair..they were as skillful and as passionate.. c why i dont like jazz? no equality..

From what i learnt at the concert, a jazz piece is made up the head (ori melody), and 2 bodies (variated melody).. well, a classical piece also has that outline.. i think..haha..not much new on that part..

end of report..sorry, i know its a crappy one..but i am still the first to complete my work..:P

Land of possibilities

2009-06-07T22:32:00.002+08:00

Due to exams and Mypg, i havent touched the papers lately..

And next time, i think ppl who are weak at heart should not read the papers.. I randomly picked up a paper yesterday..to my astonishment..., STADIUM COLLAPSE??? if me eyes could bulged out, it would have dropped right out of my socket..

political tsunamis..i understand..but a collapsed stadium?? thats too much to comprehend..haha..a stadium which is suppose to hold thousands can just collapse when it feels like it? worst part is, its named after a Sultan.. thats bloody embarrassing..

Well, i've been thinking.. and i have decided.. America is called land of opportunities.. Malaysia shall be called LAND OF POSSIBILITIES..thats the right name.. everything is possible here..so proud to be a Malaysian..

tagged

2009-06-07T16:56:00.010+08:00

by missie and dan..

1. Besides your lips, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
doesnt matter as long as i get kissed..

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
sick..after back from kl..

3. Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
i dont take picts..

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
at times

5. Will you ever donate blood?
yup..

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
ya..i think so

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
its tempting..but i'll pass

8. What does your last text message say?
"u slept from 2 nights back till now only wake up?"

9. What are you thinking right now?
flu

1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
yup..and my dad has just filled that spot..:) haha

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
8 p.m

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
i was born with it.."mother made" product

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
its blank

14. Who was the last person who text you?
Gc

Ten Lucky Persons to do this quiz:
1. Loh
2. Joanne
3. DanT
4. Jian
5. Missie
6. Calvin
7. Joyce
8. soo tian
9. grace
10. yi hong

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
good quest..i also wanna know..:P

16. Is no.3 a male or a female?
definitelymale..

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together, would it be a good match?
haha...it'll be interesting..its like night and day being united..

18. What is no.1 studying about?
easiest way to get A1s??haha

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
define them..

20. Is no.4 single?
hmmm....mysterious..haha

21. Say something about no.2?
sot at times..kedekut..:P but a good friend in all..

22. What do you think about no.3 and no.6 being together?
can't imagine them holding hands..!!!haha

23. Describe no.9?
in a relationship.!!!

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight?
ask them to settle outside??haha

25. Do you like no.8?
yeah...my big bro

friends

2009-05-28T23:56:00.003+08:00

The further i venture into the mist of life, the more secrets i uncover.. in this post, the secret is about friends..

Well, good friends don come by every day.. but.. friends don stay long either..events happening around me lately has made me start thinking..are people around me friends, or are they just people i bump into who stay some time..??

Christians brothers and sisters aside.., i'm in a process of conducting an experiment..

Inference : friends don't stay long
Hypothesis : the closer u get to know someone, the closer u are to breaking that friendship..
Variables : Manipulated : material things
Responding : time of friendship
Constant : same friend
(haven't really thought about the rest yet..)

u know, when u watch those american movies which have the "cool group" and everybody follows them.. yeah.. Americans are always ahead of us.. they've figured it out... These type of "friends" are all over us.. right, left, up, down..qualities in a friend are no more in demand.. its only.. "what do u have".."how much are u willing to give".."are u cool".."do we tick at the same thing"..

yeah..these things will make u lots of close buddies in weeks.. but the truth about them is that u are expendable.. loose u, get another... even in basic human relation we are like that.. no wonder now ppl change husbands and wife like changing clothes.. to the world, its ok.. everybody is expandable.. only do what benefits u..

i've learnt that when u care too much, u only hurt urself..but when u don't care..that's not right..whats wrong with this world??

no wonder it's called a dog eat dog world.. everybody wants to bite the tail of the dog infront..

MERDEKA

2009-05-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

Tanggal, 28..bulan 5..pukul 2.10(school finish)..MERDEKA MERDEKA!!MERDEKA MERDEKA!!da da dada..dadadadada..

MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

yeah...now i feel how Tunku Abdul Rahman felt..haha.. proud to finish the race.. i'm done.. for now..at least i get to rest 2 weeks..

i just finished 2 movies! wolverine the origins and saw5..awesome.. loads more of movies to go..:) a.amelia..before this question marathon right? now is movie marathon! yeah..hehe

now that i have time..., tomorrow's activity..

8.30 - chem tuition..darn
10.30- do some deforestation on my head..its as thick as the amazon..
12.00- fetch sis from tuition..
12.30 onwards......GALAVANTING!! haha

russell peters

2009-05-19T23:22:00.002+08:00

One of a kind joke..take some time to watch this vid clip..the saying goes..laughter is the best medicine..in this age, yeah we all need it every now and then..enjoy..

a prayer..

2009-05-19T23:04:00.002+08:00

joanne sent to me a very beautiful meaningful prayer..thank you..

Father God, deliver the person reading this right now from debt and debt's burdens. Release Your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that You have given me Father, for I know how wonderful and mighty You are and how if we just obey You and walk in Your Word and have the faith of a mustard seed that You will pour out blessings. I thank You now Lord for the recent blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come because I know You are not done with me yet.

In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

school life

2009-05-19T22:24:00.004+08:00

If one is aware and sensitive to his surroundings, one will notice the change in trends.. and with a little time to think and put it in a clear picture, we can see the rot in our society now..

When i was in form3, smoking...the very first step into all these rubbish.. peers would be smoking every morning before coming to school..some even smoke in school but nothing is done about it.. it became such a habit that during tournaments, they had to smoke to be able to play..this actually started among a few malay boys and soon spread throughout the whole form.. even my group of friends started smoking.. Till now, peers around me are still hooked to this habit, and its spreading.. I sometimes see juniors coming up to my friends to ask for cigarettes..

In this same year, gangsterism also took its lime light.. It started with 3 boys in a gang, and it soon spread.. gang fights were breaking out in my school every now and then..protection money flying about..this soon caught fire, and some of my friends now are holding "high posts" in their gang..with this is also associated family problems, late night activities and absence in school because got "case"..

Form 4.. the year we have all been waiting for.. Motor license.. Well, many got their bikes before even getting a license.. by the middle of the month, half of the students in my form were coming by bikes.. some with license and some without..with this, truancy became popular.. and without question, REMPIT.. people started doing stunts on their bikes and many met with an accident.. lately, there was a guy from next class who ended up in icu.. "acciden motor" was what people told me..

Next was drinking... din't really caught on..only a small group of chinese and indians..

Form 5... we are all big boys now..suppose to be more "matured"..can think better and more responsible.. bullshit.. this year has been the worst.. early in this year, the problem was drugs.. u may be thinking.. in school?? ya.. i thought so too.. there were news that there was a guy in my form who dealed drugs in small amounts.. few grams for 35 bucks or something like that.. this din't really spread, but only a small group indulged in taking them.. and the physical synthoms are showing...

Since the new trend din't really get caught on, a new trend came by.. football betting.. now that we are "big boys", all the old habits will wanna go big too.. smoking, racing, gansterism.. big matters, require big bucks... new motor, requires money for modification.. everything revolves around money.. so.., betting.. make money and loose money..

Why are all these happening?? does the school authority not know anything or are they just looking at it blindly?? what is going to happen to the future generation?? even from small all these evil doing are being planted.. what is the use of Pendidikan Islam and Moral education?? Sivics?? It's taken alot of me to hold myself from getting involved in all these rubbish.. but the betting.....its easy money..

no matter what, i'm gonna hold to my principal in not getting involved in illegal money..i really hope i will have the determination to stand by my principal..

FYI, all these nonsense din't start in my school...its just a small group of people who spoils everything..whatever it is, something has to be done..

An insight..:P

2009-05-18T23:35:00.003+08:00

due to the grumbles in my last post, i'm gonna share something nice this time.. a smart plan of mine if i "end up in hell" as my previous post states..enjoy..

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes t! o the fa ct that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home, your Son

What u think of my plan..?extensive eh..haha.. i love the net..full of insights..

INSANITY

2009-05-18T23:03:00.002+08:00

in everything, there is always a fine line separating one from another.. male-female..life-death..black-white..stupid-daring..sanity-insanity

where do i stand? at the brink of sanity..I'm holding to this fine, half slipping rope in my hands.. with all my might..i can see the veins popping out of my hands..the amount of sweat can be counted in gallons..my feet cant help out..there is no where to support them.. when is this nightmare going to end?

if it's not obvious enough, i'm talking about like in form5...darn..the more time i spend in this capsule, the more years of my life go flying past..more white hair, more calories burnt.. more brain cells damaged..

I need a space! space to breathe and do something for myself..something that i can look forward to..something that wont involve, "going to school, lunch, study, exercise, bathe, eat, tuition/study, sleep" i need to get out of that cycle..!! but i cant..

given a choice, i would rather push a car for 2 miles! wait....make that 3.. who cares how many miles...anything just to skip this year... yeah yeah..its a good experience..its also a good death sentence..what the heck is our government thinking?? driving their generasi muda up a hill and pushing us of..

wish me luck!! i'm soooooo dead..its a dreadful sentence..i dint do anything to deserve this..:( i am not told i'm gonna die..but i already know it.. and i have to walk closer and closer to my death bed.. only thing i can wish for is that i'll be in heaven after that.. (STRAIGHT A1s!!!!!) haha..i just fell on the other side of the fine line.. -INSANITY-

H1N1..we are ready..!! yeah..

2009-05-16T17:27:00.006+08:00

i know i'm suppose to be studying..but i just cant hold back my thoughts..this post is long..but pls read..haha

First Case..!!! The world terror has finally attacked the one small place it missed..MALAYSIA.. common..whats the worry.. it has been flashing in our newspapers.. WE ARE READY..(malaysia is ready to face the predator).. let me see where to begin..

ok..the best part first lah.. so we say we are ready, and the first case hit Sungai Buloh..and it's headlines in the papers today.. picts of ambulances, and hospital staff in masks, more articles on this swine flu is appearing from no where so suddenly..

While Anifah and Hillary Clinton is duscussing on financial crisis, trade and security, we as Malaysians are smiling from ear to ear.. proud what.. U.S wants to learn from US how we tackled the Asian financial crisis..from this perspective, ya..Malaysia sounds great.. but on the other hand, Malaysia looks like a joke to me in handling the H1N1 case..

Not to be offensive or discouraging, but don't la lie if we are not ready...here is a pict in the newspaper today..

If u are to see closely...the guy in black tie, using the comp.. is wearing his mask UNDER HIS NOSE>.!!!! OMG.. whats the use of wearing a mask when its under the nose? if he breathes only through his mouth all the time then nvm la.. but this..!! we are sooooo ready huh.. and the masks they are wearing, is just a normal surgical mask.. Don't they know they have to wear a special mask to protect them from a virus..???

ok..with that done..NEWSFLASH..we have a suspect case in Alor Star..Its a weekend, and my mum has to go in to work..because she was alerted that a patient needs to be isolated..suspected H1N1 case.. anyway, this was what happened.. my mum got called up this morn, saying that she has to standby..suspect case.. so she quickly got ready.. phone other staff members to be on standby as well..just before she left, another phone call came..phone call said that chief physician has seen the patient and is only normal flu..i know..it sounds pathetic..

Then.... mum had to "uncall" ppl..change back clothes and went to kitchen..prepare lunch.. then ring ring ring.. "Hello..Mrs.mum ada?" "tunggu sat ya"..Mummmmyyyyy.... mum comes out of the room and grumbles.. i must go hospital pula.. turns out to be a real suspected H1N1 case.. after getting ready..again....mum got another phone call..after a long talk, mum was complaining.. ppl don't even know their roles.. head of departments are clashing because they dont know their roles..!! gosh... we are so so so so ready.. anyway.. mum has gone to hospital..so i shall know what happens tonight..

On a separate thought.. read somewhere that Malays are glad that this virus has showed up.. why? because they can now know which Muslim eats pork.. i know..i know..suddenly everything in ur brain went blank right? and i have Muslim friends who say i better not eat pork..later kena virus..and some of them even boast to me that pork is a dirty animal..and thats why they dont eat..then whats bird flu?? anyway.. this is picked straight from wiki..

Pork Products

Although some pigs in Canada were recently found to be infected with the new strain of H1N1,^[162] the leading international health agencies have stressed that the "influenza viruses are not known to be transmissible to people through eating processed pork or other food products derived from pigs." ^[107]

see.... how are we prepared when our "countymen" dont even know facts of this influenza? being ready is more than just setting up tents in hospitals and preparing the Health Ministry.. if it is that easy to be prepared, any body can say i'm ready.. anyway, we'll see what turns out of this situation..

on another note..pls pray for mummy...thanks..

awesome god

2009-05-15T12:01:00.000+08:00

from the inside out..

2009-05-14T15:27:00.003+08:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Christ...the best gift given to me.. we may be burdened so much..
trying to make things work out in every aspect... trying our best 
to fit in to this mad world..finding our place in the world.. 
what we often forget is that we already have a perfect place in 
heaven..and that we fit so nicely into Jesus's caring arms..
what more can i ask for in this life time..something i believe in.. 
as long as our focus is on His calling, everything else will 
fall perfectly into its place like a complete jigsaw puzzle.. 
Easier said than done..but i know i am trying and will succeed.. 
praise be to God Almighty..maker of heavenand earth..amen

.......

2009-05-13T22:38:00.005+08:00

This year, free education! no school fees..

and now, it seems that the Education Ministry has allowed schools to collect fees through consensus with the PIBG.. and with no doubt, that was exactly what my school did.. and without any doubt again, the decision has been made..pay school fees..

If the government has made a decision to give free education, stick with it! how can a government of a country sway to what suites them most? Just because it's burdening to support all the schools, they have allowed schools to collect school fees..

the most stupid part is.. the fees is called "Bayaran Sumbangan PIBG bagi tahun 2009" realise the word "sumbangan" there? last i checked, sumbangan means to donate.. which also means to give by our own free will.. but this...i don't know what to call it.. sumbangan tapi wajib.. man..this is pure crap..

and one of the things we have to pay for is..ujian dalaman.. well........in the norm, we pay for what we want..last i checked, hell i did not want an "ujian dalaman".. isn't this crap???

Happy Teachers Day

2009-05-11T23:32:00.004+08:00

this is dedicated to all the teachers who "in my opinion" has helped me..(not every teacher is helpful) i know its early..but mid term is during the celebration..so i'll just post it up first..

A guide to grow,
A map to maturity.

An eye to monitor,
An ear to listen.

A desire to help,
A heart to teach.

A mouth to nag,
A hand to smack.

What else can we ask of our teachers.
What else can they give when it's all perfect.

A name born with them, TEACHER.

something in my mind for all thy teachers.. A.amelia, A.peh lan, U.koay, U.ti peng, U yeang boon and to those i forgot..(hopefully none) A special thanks to all of you..wished teachers day was not during mid term..then can have something more special then just a post..sigh..

Anyway, my deepest gratitude to thy almighty teacher, Jesus. "heaven and earth will fade, but My word will still remain" amen..

twisted malaysia??

2009-05-11T00:03:00.003+08:00

one question before i write anything.. Why do we learn history?? Well, according to form one history text book, its to "membangunkan semangat patriotisme" and "menghargai jasa pahlawan" etc..

Therefor, to my next question mark.. why in the world 3 chapters of form4 history is about Nabi Muhammad?? It's not wrong or anything..actually i don't mind reading it..(quite interesting).. but the question is what has it got to do with Malaysia and patriotism? the connection is not there at all.. even if there is a connection to Malaysia, it's definately not stated in any part of the 3 chapters..

All i read is about how great Nabi Muhammad was, and how great the Islam empire was.. all the great strategies, the good attitude and so on.. The Muslims who "berhijrah" to Madinah were fighting all out with the "Yahudi" for hak sama rata.. And many servants who were touchered by their employers accepted Islam because of its equality.. And yet, in malaysia we have such a thing as ketuanan melayu.. special scholarships for Bumiputera and even tanah rezab melayu! some equality...

Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia(JAKIM) made such a big fuss with The Herold for using the word Allah.. one of the always heard reason is that this may confuse the Muslims who read them.. where the heck did this lame reason come up also i don't know.. They don't even have confidence that their followers are mature and steadfast?? then how about us? everymorn listen to bacaan doa..afternoon..before class..during tuition..how come we don't say it'll confuse us?

But all the way to bragging about ur religion in integrated curriculum??? hmmmm..i don't know..
I'm sorry..no offence or anything..but i just cant seem to understand the whole pict..can some kind hearted soul pop by and explain or correct me.. thanks..

oh..this one's nice..!

2009-05-10T01:15:00.001+08:00

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, “Let's talk.. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don't know,” said the stranger. “Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the job?” and he smiles.

“OK”, she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama... when you don't know shit?”

school

2009-05-05T23:00:00.001+08:00

There i was.. sitting by the door at my place..feeling the warm, hot afternoon breeze whipping my face as it past..my sweaty forearm stuck to my test pad, and my ass sweating on the surface of that hard wooden chair..

The sound of my teacher humming gibberish about "pembentukan Malaysia"..the muffled noises off the fan spinning, and the buzzing noise of chit chatter..

Dreaming, looking outside, i watched as the trees and plants sway right and left..the cars passing by, and the birds flying in the air..

It all seemed like a perfect dream.. A sticky one too.. Time seemed to move so slowly..one second at a time.. worst part is, its 15 minutes more till I can escape this pitthole (school).. BUT…..,its like I can run thousands of miles in that second the red hand moves..

10 minutes more.. and SUDDENLY.., “oh shit”..i woke up from my dream.. I only had a few days left to cover so many chapters..so many subjects.. Suddenly I am back in the world..realising that days had just passed without much done.. so much for seconds going by slowly..

Lucky for me, this only happens during history lesson..in the afternoon..haha.. other than that, I am catching up with my studies most of the time..

Face it.. life has its “ups” and “downs”.. also “slows” and “fasts”..coll eh..(c what stress can do to students)

Gtg.. chasing time..second session..its chemistry now..yikes..molecular formular..halogens..alcohols..darn..

argh

2009-04-30T20:38:00.001+08:00

argh..!!! the stress is kicking in.. it's getting bad...my friends are laughing less, "islanding" themselves..the atmosphere..is so tensed..

worse part..this is only mid-term.. Lord help me.!!

racism

2009-04-26T00:39:00.002+08:00

1 Malaysia is what the big don says.. Thing is, he doesn't realise that he can't speak for everybody..

We are forced to learn Pendidikan Moral.. To the extend that we have to memorize 36 definitions word by word.. We learn things like kedilan, kebebasan suara, and all the other crap..Whats the point?? Are we that stupid?

Everyday, racism issues are slapped right left and center of the newspaper.. Be it in politics, marketing trade or social living..It's always there..Application for universities..job..salary..loan..bank savings..land rights..everything..Doesn't this count as a form of discrimination?

Even young students now a days have come to realise.. Oh ya..i'm born with the wrong "skin color" to enjoy all the benifits living in Malaysia.. But..thanks to our goverment..they try to make school a "neutral" ground for all.. As a student, let me tell u this..it's a 100% BULLSHIT..!! cowshit..goatshit..chickenshit..alienshit..

On thurs, we had a spotcheck during agama lessons.. So, the Islam boys were in class, and we had moral classes in the lab.. When teachers came to ambush the lab, we were in for it.. yellow papers (borang disiplin) were scattered.. teachers were happily giving them.. Many got free haircut..other things like not wearing badge, no tie, wrong socks, and bringing phone had to fill in forms.. And while teacher was cutting our hair, one of them said.. "wah..tak da perayaan pun nak simpan rambut?" WTF...

Ok..fine..i know we were in the wrong.. so, no right to get angry.. i went back to class the only one not angry.. When i reached class i blew right away.. All the Islam boys who had long hair, still had long hair.. No badge, still no badge.. Colour socks, still colour socks.. It seems, the teachers came in and checked, and said.. "Balik gunting rambut.tak ada gunting sekarang" Its so stupid.. and what? the teacher suddenly found a siccors in the drain on the way to moral class??

I can understand and accept some privilagges set by the goverment for Bumis.. but this.. this is plain discrimination and racism.. If they want to do this..just tell us.. we will willingly go to the teacher and say.. "Cikgu..saya bukan Islam, dan hari ini tak pakai badge.tolong bagi borang kuning.." If u wanna be a racist in school, use some brains while u are at it.. pendidik anak muda konon!

In a separate case, 3 boys were caught by PK Hem for "berniaga" at school.. 2 malays, 1 chinese.. the 2 dudes, were just given warnings, and let off the hook. The chinese, well unfortunately he wasn't born a malay.. PK asked him to call his parents to school to sign a surat aku janji..

sigh.. what is there more to say? even from young we are filled with the insatisfaction our country pour on us.. And they up there are trying so hard to train us to be the "next generation" of leaders.. 1 Malaysia.. my foot..

Cluster school

2009-04-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

Aww man... now i can't make fun of Asma anymore.. My school has opted for the "cluster title"..

In my opinion, this sucks.. Imagine having to start school earlier and finish later..even the teachers are against it..but somewhere up there, somebody wants it pretty badly..Cluster.. this means that students that under-perform in their studies has to be transferred out..I know it's good..but competition is gonna get pretty tight soon.. And discipline.. it's sure going to get tighter a notch..

For us, school can be said more "fun" than other schools.. Mention my school name, and lots and lots of interesting stories comes out.. Teachers seldom enter school.. the only school which allows students to keep their hair..arrogant students..bunch of monkeys..everything..! Well, this may not sound nor look good.. But it actually helps us develop..Students can't really develop under a situation where the book is in front of the eye the whole day..

And now, everything is going to get spoilt by CLUSTER.. dumb title..isn't being called a premier school enough?? We are still to see how it goes..lucky for me, i'm getting out of this nightmare in a few months more..

What struck me most.. I never knew things in my school could last.. I went to a girl's school for debate competition, and saw all the decorations around the school.. i thought to myself.."i wonder how long these things would last in my school"..at the same time, my friend laughingly said..i bet this (the decoration) won't last a day.. But, ever since we were informed that Pendidikan is going to "pantau" our school, a miracle is happening.. Classes are decorated..!!!

When i say decorated, i seriously mean DECORATED..!! Clases are beautiful!! neat..clean..everything u can think of.. there are flower and plants on teacher's table in some classes.. Suddenly, "reading corners" are appearing..carperts are laid in class..dirty shoe prints are painted over..haha

Looks like "cluster" has brought out the better of us.. to me, i see it as acting..something we are proud of and profesional in.. We'll see how long all these will last..Anyway, goodluck to my school in achieving your "clustercity"..

R.I.P

2009-04-21T23:45:00.002+08:00

Yikes...i'm dying.. physically and mentally..yeah..emotionally too..

Physically... The HEAT is killing me..the earth suddenly seems hotter than usual.! I can't even sleep in peace..sleeping is suppose to be a time where my body rest and rejuvenate..how is my body suppose to do that when i perspire and sweat more in sleep than when i am awake?? And my sleeping hours are getting odd..terrible..

Mentally... This rat race is cutting the years out of me..For all those smokers out there who wanna die faster, just study hard.. its cheaper and the effect is faster..haha.. I've got so much to do..!! so much to catch up..suddenly everything seems important..suddenly i'm back from my-own-world trip..days are counting by, white hairs are sprouting by.. Feels like i'm on a death sentence..

Emotionally.. well, if the other two are down, deffinately this one will be too.. But, there is always a contribution to each factor.. Something i took 17 years to learn.. Friends come and go..People change, and loyal friends are hard to come by.. Suddenly you feel like you're all alone..left, right, top bottom, its just a vast plain field that you cant see the end..What is there more to say..being different is going against the flow..and this is the consequence..

But...... i still have my joy..:) something no body or thing can take away.. Something i got for free and never regretted accepting it.. Jesus Christ..too bad not everybody has it..sigh..

homework

2009-04-11T23:49:00.002+08:00

What am i doing now?

Homework... wow..tim does his homework.. neh..just to get some stinking marks for his april test..

Why i don't do my homework.. well, firstly is i think its a waste of time..yes, its an exercise. but i spend half my time copying the question! we are asked to do it that way so that when teachers send the books to the guru kanan, it seems like they have been doing their work.. Its so stupid. Why cant teacher do things like ask us to buy a revision book and write down the answers in a test pad.? So much more can be done in less time.

Many of my teachers are in the league of "capable 1 chapter-1 week teachers". Imagine 10 subjects..the amount of homework..copy copy copy..They teach just the surface of things, and give simple "text book" exercises..We have to do our own detailed revision and catch up with all the rubbish thrown at us.. If we cant finish in time, the new trend will start kicking in.."Kalau tak hantar buku, potong 25% ujian".. "This essay will contribute 10% for your coming exam".. Then what's the point of an exam? might as well just give us exercises for exams. .argh..so annoying..

If i don't follow this stupid scheme, i will get same results as i did in my previous test.. in the thirties...sigh.. then get scolding from parents..all the reasons why i not doing well will be rushing into my ears like a tsunami..

besides, the bible says... Do everything without complaining and arguing (Philp 2:14)
Well, lots to do and lots of reminding befor i can fully obey this..with god all things are possible.! amen..

sorry

2009-04-10T00:08:00.001+08:00

to all my faithful readers..(*dreaming*) haha..

sorry..no time to update..lots of things to chase.. bye bye..the race continues..

great laugh

2009-03-23T23:08:00.001+08:00

Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.

Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?

Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!

Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.

Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!

Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?

Murid : Faham, cikgu!

Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.

Murid : (senyap)

Cikgu : Pandai!

Murid : Bodoh!

Cikgu : Tinggi!

Murid : Rendah!

Cikgu : Jauh!

Murid : Dekat!

Cikgu : Keadilan!

Murid : UMNO!

Cikgu : Salah!

Murid : Betul!

Cikgu : Bodoh!

Murid : Pandai!

Cikgu : Bukan!

Murid : Ya!

Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!

Murid : Oh Hamba!

Cikgu : Dengar ini!

Murid : Dengar itu!

Cikgu : Diam!

Murid : Bising!

Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!

Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!

Cikgu : Mati aku!

Murid : Hidup kami!

Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!

Murid : Akar lama tak tau!

Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!

Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!

Cikgu : Kamu gila!

Murid : Kami siuman!

Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!

Murid : Kurang! Kurang!

Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!

Murid : Belum! Belum!

Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?

Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!

Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!

Murid : Oh! Mengalah!

Cikgu : Kurang ajar!

Murid : Cukup ajar!

Cikgu : Habis aku!

Murid : Kekal kami!

Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!

Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!

Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!

Murid : Belum, pandai!

Cikgu : Berdiri!

Murid : Duduk!

Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!

Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!

Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!

Murid : Cerdik kami tu!

Cikgu : Rosak!

Murid : Baik!

Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!

Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!

Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)

.......

2009-03-23T00:50:00.004+08:00

The pressure living in this generation is just too much to bear anymore. We compete for everything. People step on each other’s heads just to hike up the hierarchy of life.

Living now sucks. Everything is so rigid. Students chase and fight for certificates. Everybody wants to win. Because of this, the world is driving insane by competition. We hear of suicide cases in universities because students fail in their exams. What does this tell us? It tells us that education have become people’s life and without it, we don’t have anything to live for anymore.

Competition has wiped out student’s childhood. It is common to see in school that students start studying even before school starts. All we are expected and have to do now is study. Study, study, study. Every second counts. Every second is an opportunity to be better than others. We are suppose to sleep at least 8 hours a day. But who has that type of luxury now? Students have tuitions in the day, and continue studying till late in the night. In the morning, its school. Weekends? It’s just another opportunity to squeeze more tuition in.

Life has become a rat race. We race for the price, do anything and plan strategies. The thing about a rat race is, that when you win, you are still a rat. People don’t realize that life is more than just a race. We have so much to live for. I don’t believe that God gave us lives just to compete and be on the top. But why then are we so burdened? We chase and run till we have no space to breathe.

Studying is not fun anymore. We are not given the space to expand. Why aren’t there things like field trips? or discussing things in groups to come out with ideas? It’s just text books and reference books nowadays. Even school homework is counted as marks for exam now. Is not enough that we have exams once in two months? What are we to society? Robots?

If we listen to our parent’s stories, you will hear things like how they used to go to the river to catch fishes, have camps by the sea, go for an adventure by the cliff. Do we have time to this now? No. Imagine us telling out children next time. Last time when I was your age, I faced the book at least 12 hours a day. I have adventures in my mind while reading history.! Wow. Great stories it will be. In the end, relationship between grandparents and grandchildren will become so crucial because to kids, their grandparents are seen as more interesting and cool.

I miss going to school with a smile. To know that it’s an exciting day. I wake up every morning now thinking of what book I’m gonna study when there is free time at school. My younger sister goes to sleep at night worrying about an English oral test! How is she to sleep in peace? My 9 year old friend. School, art classes, piano classes, Chinese classes, ballet classes, extra tuitions. 9 years old! No wonder the average of puberty is dropping.

Conclusion is, I’m tired. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. I have resorted to pulling myself out of the competition and just set goals and standards for myself. Most importantly, I am going to spend more time with my bible, Christian music and prayer. Because I feel secure and have peace that way. The world has conformed me into a being I don not recognize anymore. In simple words, I’m going to learn to be like a child again. To do things because I have to, and have fun at it. And Jesus is going to be my parent where I run to when I fall.

To all you teens who stumble here, please leave a comment. i am just curious whether you are experiencing the same thing as me..thanks

Tagged

2009-03-17T00:54:00.003+08:00

I got tagged..by sarah..

001. Real Name:
That's private..

002. Nickname(s):
Tim

003. Age:
16 and a few months..

004. Horoscope :
Virgo

005. Male or Female:
Male

006. Elementary:
Suppppppeeerrrr Kids

007. Middle School:
SRK Iskandar

008. High School:
College

009. College School:
Hopefully NUS or Taylors in a year

010. Hair colour:
black and white.. mayb a little grey at some areas..

011. Long or Short:
short

012. Loud or Quiet:
loud when comfortable..quiet when new environment

013. Sweats or Jeans :
what..?? jeans..duh..

014. Phone or Camera:
BOTH.>!!!

015. Health Freak:
have some fat issues going on.. other than that, a little here and there

016. Drink or Smoke:
drink at times

017. Do you have a crush on someone:
Duh.. i'm human..

018. Eat or Drink:
WTF..???

019. Piercings:
pierced at the toe by a friend before.. pencil piercing..

020. Tattoos:
self drawn..(marker pen)

021. Social or Anti- Social:
I'm picky..

Firsts
023. First piercing:
standard 3.. in the toe..

024. First relationship :
form 2

025. First Best Friend:
snoopy soft toy..(cried whole day when the arm came off)

026. First Award:
first minute i was born..birth certificate

027. First Kiss :
one cheek each.. dad and mom..

028. First Pet:
chicken...

029. First Big Vacation:
Kuala Lumpur...!!!

030. First Love at first sight :
yup..

031. First Big Birthday:
every birthday is big..!!!

032. First Surgery:
does stitches count??

033. First sport you joined:
floor diving..

This or That
034. Orange or Apple juice:
apple..!!!with sweet milk..

035. Rock or Rap:
rock..

036. Country or Screamo:
Country, definitely

037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys:
Hillsong..!!! rocks

038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera:
cheap sluts..neh..

039. Night or Day:
of cos night

040. Sun or Moon:
definitely moon

041. TV or Internet:
Internet

042. Playstation or xbox:
boring....

043. Kiss or hug:
What..??? kiss, hug, cuddle, touch, exotic??

044. Iguana or turtle:
turtle...*crush (finding memo)

045. Spider or bee:
spider..

046. Fall or spring:
WINTER..!!!!!!!

047. Limewire or iTunes:
windows media player

048. Soccer or baseball:
RUGBY!!!!

Currently
049. Eating:
nothing

050. Drinking:
saliva

051. Excitement level :
negative..

052. I’m about to:
long piak

053. Listening to:
ummmm....the fan rotating?

054. Plans for today:
study, bathe, eat, sleep, debate, gym... too many

055. Waiting for:
my next breath

056. Energy Level:
full..can go for a 100m dash anytime.

057. Thinking of someone:
yup..

Future
058. Want kids?:
of cos..who gonna take care of me when old??

059. Want to get married?:
duh.....

060. When?:
-when the time is right-

061. How many kids do you want:
2 to 3.. may differ later on..

062. Any name on the mind:
let my wife decide..

063. What did you want to be when you were little:
doctor

064. Careers in mind:
lawyer

065. Mellow future or wild:
What..?????

066. Something you would never try:
random sex..drugs..smoking (hopefuly)

067. When do you want to die:
when God says it's time..

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like (in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes :
both..everything counts..that's what makes HER..

069. Romantic or Funny?:
both..this is getting stupid..

070. Shorter or Taller?:
not very particular.. shorter??

071. Protective or Caring?:
it comes in a pair..stupid.. phone or battery??

072. Romantic or Spontaneous?:
phone + battery

073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?:
if not to my liking i wont take in the first place right??

074. Sensitive or Loud?:
sensitive.. just enough to make her sweet.. not annoying..

075. Hook-up or Relationship?:
WTF?

076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?:
none of both..

077. Muscular or normal:
muscular girl..???? just healthy would do..

Have you ever
078. Kissed a stranger:
i'm not a pervert...

079. Broken a bone:
nope..hopefully i will to someone.. someday

080. Lost glasses or contacts:
ya..got my ass busted..

081. Ran away from home:
no..

082. Held a gun/knife for self defence:
gun no.. knife yes.. i dont defend..i attack

083. Killed somebody:
don't intend to..

084. Broken some one’s heart:
ya..

085. Had your heart broken:
guaranteed..

086. Been arrested:
no

087. Cried when someone died:
who laughs when someone died??

088. Liked a friend more than a friend:
ya...

Do you believe in
089. Yourself:
nope..

090. Miracles:
hallelujah..!!

091. Love at first sight:
yup..

092. Heaven:
duh.....

093. Santa Claus:
bullshit..

094. Tooth Fairy:
horseshit..

095. Kiss in the first date :
not if i want a second..

096. Angels:
definitely..

Answer Truthfully
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?
it's confusing....

098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now?
the only yes is when i'm in heaven..

099. Do you believe in God?
YES

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.
sendiri tag if u want..